we paint the town blue

hello?

2010-10-23T03:43:00.001+08:00

if some of you must know, i have joined tumblr, hence the lack of updates here

please do visit: here

Got a Secret,can you keep it, Swear this one you'll safe

2010-05-12T01:46:00.002+08:00

Just as stated.
Ask and you shall receive =)
In private of course.

And unless you are one of the selected few that I choose to personally tell,
Just do as stated =)

Who is the lamb and Who is the knife?

2010-04-21T23:13:00.003+08:00

It takes that much of inferiority complex for you to do that I guess
I am thankful I am not you
I am grateful that I don't dwell in your shadow
If anything, it seems the more that you try to get even with me, the more your inferiority complex present itself in the ugliest of ways

I admit I may have my share of insecurities.
But that does not matter.
Insecurities push us somewhere in life. Be it over the edge or towards perfection.
It makes you LIVE.

Inferiority is not the most attractive trait you have.
But sad to say, if you don't have it, you lose your identity.

Tut tut.

Hang Up Your Chick Habit

2010-04-06T20:44:00.002+08:00

The world's biggest mistake was to have a collaboration with you.
You insipid immature spoilt brat

Then again, you may never know what you have done.
And if you stumble upon this post, you may not even know what it means
Your inadequate English will provide you with that much I am sure.

You know what would be a good present for you?
a rattle and a milk bottle.

The rattle makes far more pleasant sounds and the bottle will shut you up.

Blame is for God and small children.

And you sure as hell are not the former.

And why the fuck should someone else apologise for your mistakes?

Yeah, It's Overwhelming, But What Else Can We Do?

2010-03-22T23:56:00.010+08:00

OK, for the uninitiated, the Powers-that-Be had a major field day on a Sabbath's Day, no less.
For more information, click here

Anyways, if you have noticed, I have added The List. Of 100 great reads and so far, I am not even done with a quarter of it.

Inspired by the Julia Powell project (which spawned Julie & Julia) I have decided to read as many as I can get my hands on.
Not that there need to be a reason to pick up books in the first place, but it gives you a direction in some sense.

No. I am not giving myself a time frame. Julia gave herelf 365 days to cook up some 500 recipes. I cannot possibly finish some of them in a matter of hours ( Have you seen how obscenely thick War and Peace/ Leo Tolstoy is?)

I'm taking it day by day. What with the multitude of course work etc etc.

So far, I have read the ones with a little * next to it.
I don't know how to put a tick so that is the best alternative I can come up with.

Currently done with:

LOTR
Harry Potter
Alice in Wonderland
Memoirs of a Geisha
The Da Vinci Code
Lord of the Flies
The Little Prince
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
The Curious Case of the Dog in the Night-Time

I'm currently embarking on: (from this list)

Atonement
The Bell Jar

Is bummed that these are not on the list:

The Graveyard Book - Neil Gaiman
Oscar Wilde's Work
Edgar Allan Poe's Work (how can you fucking ignore him?)
For One More Day - Mitch Albom
Grimms Brothers

Is NOT going to touch these for now (or maybe forever; just to list a few)

Leo Tolstoy
Ulysses
Complete Works of Shakespeare
Jane Austen (actually I kind of enjoy Mansfield Park but it is not on this list so pooh pooh)
Les Miserables
Dune- Frank Herbert

And Sunday was actually overall a good good day.

Save for the fact that Ying and I were tormented during Lunch. But the leather-bound esque books were a real steal! Got a shirt and a cupcake and thus ends a perfect day laced with laughter, irony, company, books, shopping and sugar =)

This is as cheerful as I can get. Evidence law can suck balls.

Schedule for the week:

Dinner with an Accountant on Tuesday

Night Market rendezvous with a Slut on Wednesday

Starbucks and Studying with a Bitch on Thursday

Friday Night Out with the Usual Suspects on Friday

And somehow try to squeeze in time for my 3000 word Evidence Law Assignment (at the mo, it is still at zer0) and tuition notes and study notes D=

Waking Up To Wake Up Someday

2010-03-15T21:51:00.003+08:00

To belong in a group is one thing, to feel a sense of belonging is another.
I have figured out (and it is about time) that being sociable has nothing to do with the fact that you're hanging out with a really big grouup.
Actually, this revelation has hit me before, but often shrugged off.

Anyways, I have come to terms that sometimes, it is best to be left alone.
I do not like to be involved in too much politics, tension, backstabs etc etc

So I guess I have to stick it out for a few more months until U.K and then we will see how things go from there.

Do not get me wrong, I am very appreciative of my friends. I am not trying to belittle anyone.

Hanging out in a small group suffices I guess =)
I love looking back at successful friendships, where it is not a big group that I was a part of, but a smaller coven of friends that I can be comfortable with.

-Like the 7 of us.
-Like tuition classes where sour candy and some chocolate stuff were involved.
-Like the rides back on LRT both high school and post-high school.
-Like the days where we were part of SAND.
-Like the days where we would do absolutely nothing in Literature but peeling onions

You know who you are.

I Hope They Love You Like We Do

2010-03-04T22:03:00.003+08:00

Sir,
Sending you off was the hardest thing to do in my life.
Yesterday, I have tried my hardest not to leak, but I failed

Seeing you resting there just did it for me
And to see your family there crying their eyes out
I would be heartless if I did not feel anything

I believe that you have led your life to the fullest
And I believe you left with no regrets
I aspire to be like you
I hope I can live up to expectations

However, your send off was a joyous one
Everybody was cheering on for you as you make the next ascent in this cycle

Thank you sir for being the centripetal force that moves all of us.
God Bless.

Cheers to the joy you bring, the golf, and the whisky.
Hallelujah.

The Day You Slipped Away

2010-03-01T21:21:00.004+08:00

My lecturer just passed away at 7 p.m.
And I am very much shaken up about it.
I admit that I am crying too.

He taught me Tort, taught me Land. I feel like I am betraying myself by writing the sentence in past tense.

I remember him being jovial, being witty, being inspiring, among many other things.
And I am still in tremendous shock.

I am regretting the fact that I skived off Land Law last week, and also Land Law Tutorial last week.
I told myself today, that I will attend his class tomorrow.
I guess I will never be able to do that now.

That hurts to know someone so important in this chapter of your life, leaving you without even saying goodbye.

I wasn't always very active in his classes. I preferred to listen to him and all of his funny little stories.
Truth be told, I just wanted to hear him speak.

I remembered once, out of the sudden I became proactive, on a question regarding Trespassers. And I saw that look on his face. He was smiling, I guess he did not know I had it in me.

He told me, "Chern, You will go to Tort Law Heaven'
And now he is in heaven.
I am sure of it. For being, a mentor, a friend, a teacher.

That was two weeks ago. He seemed fine.
Those who were in his tutorials today said he was fine.

Life is short. I know the expression. But now I know what it feels like.

I am sure he doesn't want all of us to be crying for him.
The old man would have wanted laughter. And Whisky. I hope heaven gives him that.
If you will not, don't torment him, give him back to us ok?

This is a poem I have always liked.
I cannot do what the persona is asking me to do, that being to stop crying.
But I like the idea that he is still around somehow:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die

Now back to his assignment. it is for him, and I don't want it any other way.
What hurts more, is that I am looking at HIS notes.

It's Been a Long Slow Collision

2010-02-15T16:31:00.006+08:00

It is only apt to start off by wishing everyone a happy CNY/Valentines.

But I will stop there.

Anyways, I think I have become more complacent than ever recently.

I guess I am still riding on the high of my first year results.

Or the fact that both Cardiff and Liverpool have given me a mere conditional offer.

Or the fact that this is just a constant sugar rush.

This has got to cease or else I will be destroying any chances of me getting into a better university and in turn, doing the BVC (which is now refered to with a much more confusing name)

And, I think there is a need to go go out much MUCH more often.

Yes, I am using the fact that I am leaving for the U.K as a valid excuse.

I do not know how long for, because of the Visa and all.

And I cannot attempt the Bar right after my third year because, being a December Child, I am technically underage. WHAT.THE.FUCK.

So, counting down the 7 months I have left here.

It is not a lot, if you look into everyone's schedule.

Because, how many more memories can you keep if you don't seek them out first?

I want parties that end with a random 1 a.m hiking trip

I want 411 sessions- Starbucks on the side.

I want a Road Trip. I don't care where, because when I travel, I live

Birthday celebrations

Or a simple dinner

Definitely a spontaneous Photoshoot.

More Musically Inclined events

Another round of Picnic in the Park

And TONS of shots (both digital and alcoholic)

I Ain't Got The Time

2010-02-03T10:35:00.005+08:00

Confession:
Maybe some of you have heard me say this.
But I am adamant to kick relationships for a year.
Last year's drama was really not worth the space in my head and my time.
So, you may scoff right now and think that I am just bullshitting

But I am not.

It is all too messy to begin with.
And Law fucks me almost everyday, so, I definitely am not deprived in that department.

I am glad that I talked to my cousin about the trials and tribulations of being in a relationship.
So thanks Jun Wei =)

And Wee Xiong, damn you for leaving
and damn you for returning here next year when I have already left.
=(

by the way Wee Xiong, Jun Wei and I were wondering why do you never share some Fucked up relationship stories every year. You get your ass back here and do that!
okthankyoubye.

Ok, I will update later, I have Company Law screwing me now. A bit vanilla though.

Here's what I promised my dear friend :

*credits to Google Images*

Psst! Blake Lively is mine!

My Favourite Game

2010-01-26T22:54:00.004+08:00

Revenge.
I have never really concealed the fact that I am in essence, a vengeful person.
I have always been very proud with the fact that I am able to hold on to a grudge for a long time.

But I have my own principles.
The rule is never to be vengeful out of spite, and always only strike after planning.
There must always be a personal vendetta and a vested interest.
I also treat it like a game of chess (contrary to the usage of this metaphor, I am actually not adept at the game, literally, but let's focus on this game, shall we)
Your victory will be dependant on your moves.

While this particular battle may seem futile right now, seeing its current stagnant-like state,
I believe that things may not turn out as bad as it is.
With Lady Luck still on my side,
I say it is a matter of making the right move next.
I have my pawn all ready.
Do not underestimate this pawn of mine.
It will take you down, Queen of All Bitches.

Your alliances are not completely under your command,
What with the fatal move you made to allow them room for suspicion and hatred.
You might think you're getting back on their good graces,
But careful now, Queen, you do not want to be demoted to being a pawn.
MY PAWN.

On a less menacing note:
See you guys on Friday!!

Ivan, Carine, this post is, indeed, related to our discussion in Zanmai. I know it has already piqued your interest =)

You Know You're Nothing

2010-01-18T22:45:00.004+08:00

I guess it is true that you cannot please everyone in your life.
There are bound to be people who would love you for who you are.
There are bound to be people who will hate you for who you are not.

There are people who would love to be your friend.
There are those who would do nothing more than to want to hate you out of spite.

To be honest, I don't really care if you hate me or not.
Because everyone is entitled to their own point of view and a right to their own opinion.
But it would be better if you would keep your negativity to yourself.
Because at the end of the day, your words, no matter how true or twisted they are, will hold a sway over another person.

And that is how hatred is generated.

So what if he/she hates me? I don't think that there is a need to make a big deal out of it. If you would keep your big mouth shut. I think everyone involved would have wasted less life thinking and over-analysing the what-ifs and why's. But then again, you are immature and horrendous. Obnoxious and plain dim-witted. So listening to one side of the story is your forte.

Go ahead and judge me. I welcome it.

College is just a phase.
So are you.
And the reason for your hatred.
Is the fact that you're just jealous for whatsover reason.

Birds always peck on the sweetest fruit.

The thoughts that meander in my head are subconsciously caused by over-thinking. This is something I wish I could just get rid off with the aid of drugs and prescriptions. If only.

Picked All My Weeds, But Kept The Flowers

2010-01-14T23:14:00.004+08:00

*Credits: weheartit*

That is me laying on the floor, uninspired by anything.This is one of those weeks where I am just too lazy to do anything. And this does not bid well for me. For instance, I am positive that I am one of the last of the 125 students in my class to jumpstart my Company law ASSignment. I have not even researched on a single thing yet. The only consolation I guess, would be the stack of unread, unused notes that have been compiled.

Whoopee.

And for some obscene reason, I feel so enervated this week. I am constantly blur in class and I have not been concentrating at all. This sucks. Just today, when the lecturer was explaining some lamentable topic on Land, I stared blankly into space until a friend of mine told me not to stone and to snap out of it.

I am constantly putting on this look of disdain and that, in the long run will be a permanent facade if I do not do anything about it.

Oh yeah, the thing is, I am trying to still not be too comfortable with everything around me. I think I have to remind myself all the time, to distant myself further every time I feel like pulling in. I do not want to go through the whole downward spiral of the after effects of Too Early, Too Soon.

I need to keep telling myself that.

I mean, after all, there are all of these sycophants that surround me. Not to say all of them are like that, but you just have to be aware and alert before you get a stab in the back. This is a bad habit (read: paranoia) build up from high school, and as much as I resent it, I am still suffering from its after effects.

Wouldn't it really be nice if there really is an alternate world you can live in. I'd love to live beyond The Wall (Neil Gaiman is genius)

It's Just Another Manic Monday

2010-01-11T23:14:00.005+08:00

On a normal basis, I wouldn't proclaim that Monday is my favourtite day of the week.

In fact, I cannot bear the thought that I get up every Monday morning, just to attend a class that is taught by a lecturer I cannot seem to comprehend. On top of that, my Company Law ASSignment is due in 11 days. Not a word yet. Ho-Hum.

But today is an exception.

Not only was I caught in the rain. I met Alana on the Lrt.

I miss her mucho. Though the ride wasn't as long as I would have liked it, it was still good to just talk about the littlest things.

So, Jackie if you're reading this, I suggest that your guilty conscience start kicking in.

And the new job is not that bad actually.

I cannot wait to get paid. This deserves a 'Teehee!'

By the way, it's only a matter of months, if everything goes well, before I leave for U.K.

And I cannot say for sure when I will be coming back. My parents have plans for me to work there. So, that usurps all intentions on returning here in the new future.

But I guess, there is always a silver lining right?

Like Paris

and London

and Lots and Lots of places I get to go

On another note:

I hope I get to meet up with all the people that means a lot to me before I get there.

Honest to God, I think I am one of the worst friends anyone can ever have. I don't stay in touch, I am temperamental, I have insecurities. Which, when all added together, makes me a pain in the ass.

So I want to make up for lost times, and to make sure I still hold on to the moments we share together.

Because, a person is only defined by the people he has in life.

On another, another hand:

I cannot wait for Saturday. Come by soon.

Oh, if only I can do this:

*credits to weheartit*

Who Can Say Where The Road Goes

2009-12-30T22:17:00.009+08:00

Sorry for the unintended, unannounced hiatus. I was really busy of the late (to be exact, busy catching up on the glory that is SLEEP)

Anyways, Thailand was great, to be more exact, Bangkok is (not so much of a fan of Pattaya, but it was good)

Parasailing was exhilarating.
So was scavenging through the Boudoir-like night market.
The weather was, surprisingly, not really like local weather. There was sun alright, but it was breezy. ALL THE TIME.

Hoi Polloi abundant, that goes without saying, so were PBTs.
I guess I do not fall under the former category cause I was on a private tour.

Scenery, breathtaking.

Hotel rooms, to die for (except for the one in Pattaya). I have made up my mind and I shall stay in similar residences and be rich enough to shout down from the suite at anyone that I deem an eyesore.

My only regret is not getting MORE stuff from that shopping paradise. Who wants to go with me the next time around? =D

These pictures were taken on the first day of the trip. For some obscene reason, Blogger cannot seem to upload less narcissistic shots (save the first one)

By the way, the end is nigh (the year, that is)
8 more months left before I set off to meet the Queen and if it all goes well, Eiffel.

By the way, a BIG THANK YOU TO LUCINDA!
Thank you for the Christmas Card all the way from Durham.
Lots of Love =)

If Blogger behaves the next time around, I'll shove up more pictures.
Like from my Birthday (3 times in Delicious, no less)
Or maybe that K.L trip
Or more shots with less vanity from Thailand.

Waiting for Friday for dinner and Laundry.
Waiting for Monday for college (with sheer dread).
Waiting for Thursday to hand in my ASSignment ( I am still in the dark of what exactly is my assignment).

Champagne! Champagne for Everyone!

Ooh, You Set My Soul Alight

2009-12-06T00:09:00.006+08:00

*credits to weheartit*

Harro!
Happy Birthday Amanda!
Can't be there in the States to personally give a celebration in your name.
But life goes on and now you're 19!

*credits to weheartit*

We're ALL there for you and you know that
It would just be a little while more until we actually get to see you, literally
But in the meantime
Don't be a stranger
Have some well deserved champagne
Or maybe something harder
And remember to post up pictures from the after-party!
Being worlds apart is devastating.
And the only way to console ourselves is to wish that you are in a happy place right now.
Hopefully, and sincerely with all my heart, I wish you are.

Wouldn't it be nice if we were all there?
I wish we were too.
Anyways, have a great one
Drink responsibly, and always play safe!
We'll make your return from the States a BANG!

Sluts For Life =)

Every Step I Took In Faith Betrayed Me

2009-12-01T23:45:00.003+08:00

*credits to weheartit*

You know what?
I am done.
I am tired.
I am taking my own advice.
I am going to try and move the fuck on.

This is not worth it.
Not anymore.

Say what you need to say
Tell me I brought this onto myself
I will tell you that one hand does not clap
And that you have no rights to judge me.

They've Got A Ticket To The Show

2009-11-30T22:45:00.004+08:00

New Moon was fine

Nothing to shout about.

Speaking of shouting

I think kids should not be allowed into the cinema

Those good for nothing retarded little tots

They are so full of fucks

Every time Bella and Glitter Boy are close to kissing and stuff

They go OOoooOOOO

Seriously?

And screaming and talking and non stop shouting

Someone needed to tell them to shut the fuck up

Maybe it's because they're from the rural areas you know

And this is their first outing

And they did not know that the cinema is a place for quiet viewing

Let's not even comment about their umm... family background

Don't want to risk being thrown into jail over the dissatisfaction of an unsatisfying movie

Anyways...kudos to all of the wicked witches in fairytales

Those who prey on kids like that hag from Hansel and Gretel

I totally empathise why she did that:

They were annoying

She was hungry

You do the math

All of them still look constipated

Honestly, what happened to the good old days where vampires burn in sunlight?

Now they have been upgraded (or downgraded) to glitter-dom

If my girlfriend had glitter on her body every time she catches sunlight?

I would come to the conclusion that she is suffering from some terminal disease.

But A Christmas Carol was good (watched it a while back)

At least the box was void of annoying critters

*whispers* want to see what Land Law Assignment is doing to me?

I've been picnicking in the Library

See the girl who's biting at her thumb?

That's Alicia

Do you know why she was biting her nail?

Well that's because I pulled that nail out.

I Started Nothing, I Wish I Didn't

2009-11-29T01:29:00.003+08:00

I guess it was just the tiny little ways of the Greater Powers up there to remind me that procrastination will make me suffer the consequences.

The 'tiny little ways' being the title above.

The reminder occurred when I was choosing a song to put for my title, and this song came up (the co-incidence is scary, mind you, at 1.32 in the morning)

Anyways, I have a good mind to start on my land law assignment

I even know the outline already, which means that I do not have to go crashing head first into every walls before screaming 'Eureka!' (in satisfaction, triumph and pain of course).

If only I had so much enthusiasm in Land Law as I do in Bejewelled, which I am currently addicted to no thanks to the likes of Alvin, Aloo and Angeline.

But then again, I still have not cleared the issues that resonates constantly in my head yet. And I am getting very sick of it. It is like a disease that refuses to leave. it bites and won't let go.

I am trying not to think about it but you(s) will not let me go.

Maybe it's just me, you know, I know I can be a difficult person at times

and I know how self destructive I can get, to points of no return.

Teach me how

Tell me how

and I might be able to get some sleep with ease at last.

Because right now, I feel so powerless.

I do not have an ounce of energy to deal with it anymore.

If you(s) care to turn and look and see what you might still consider as a friend suffering here

I'll be glad to know before I move on.

*credits to wehearit*

Haha, if only it were this easy. I do not have to think of a million why's and move the fuck on.

The clockworks of my mind would not allow it to stop. I wonder when is it that I finally lose it completely.

Oh, Darling Understand, That Everything, Everything Ends

2009-11-20T21:48:00.004+08:00

*credit to weheartit*

I know I have been updating a tad more frequent, but I like it that way now.
I have thoughts meandering through my head and to ease that ringing in my psyche I guess the easiest way would be to write it out and observe it from another perspective.

All these thoughts on 'why' 'who' 'where' 'when' 'how' do not bode well for me. My mind is always on the move and I keep thinking of the most random things that it will not allow me to rest.

I rely heavily on coaxing myself to sleep and lying in the darkness to allow myself to gradually feel tired before drifting off.

The feeling is not one that I have come to like, but one that I have come to accept.
Anyways, I feel like I have given my best when it comes to such a commitment and to allow myself to over-analyse myself makes it all the more harder on me.

The rules of the game are simple:
(1)we simply hold on to the person(s) we are most comfortable with until something else floats along.

(2)then, start hanging out less with your previous batch of cohorts until they seem to become insignificant to you, or will yourself to believe that they have become insignificant to you.

(3)occasionally, ask them what are they up to right now. Pretend to feel excited about something and start talking endlessly about it. Nearing the event, just dump all the 'I'm sorry' and "it is not such a good idea' to make it seem like it is not working out. Extra points will be awarded if you sound sad and determined to see it through.

(4)repeat steps one to three with diligence and discipline and you win.

*credit to weheartit*

Oh, you mean this is not the rules on having long lasting-best friends forever-charm bracelet inspiring friendships?
But I was merely observing the rules that YOU lay out.
well, if you can do it, I do not see why I cannot do it too.
anything you can do I can do better. Much better.

If this is all too morbid for you. Tough.
Then again, if you know me well enough you would have an inclination that I am susceptible to such thoughts.

Sorry to make you uncomfortable.

Pull Through This Avalanche

2009-11-20T00:03:00.005+08:00

I have finally gotten rid of all the notes that I was supposed to do for the Form Ones to Form Fives, over the course of a miraculous two days.

I cannot believe it myself, and the last time I checked, I did not depend on any drugs whatsoever when completing that ungodly task.

Now that the first hurdle is over (actually, if I were optimistic about it, it should not be considered a hurdle because I'm going to get paid extra for it)

I have to really jump start my ASSignment. First up being Land Law.

My lecturer would not allow us to go beyond the 3000 word limit. I am doomed.

Honest to God, I cannot do Land Law to save my sorry ass.

It is so complicated , I mean. Seriously.

Whatever, that's what i said for Constitutional Law too, and guess how well I did =)

Hopefully, it will be the same this time.

Edufair last Saturday. Saw Crystal there and so we scouted around together. I cannot bear having my parents breathe under my neck so I told them to buzz off (very nicely)

And I'm expanding my options to include Cardiff, Liverpool, Leeds and now Hull or Kent.

Hull is now somehow top on my list. Though it is not a partner, I'm allowed to try for it. The lady gave me a semi green light after evaluating my results. So now I will have to see the university representative if I'm game for it.

Kent is ranked 6th (correct me if I'm wrong) and generally do not accept YEAR 3 students. But they would consider putting me in their second semester for YEAR 2 law if the modules are similar (taking my YEAR ONE results into account, God bless them). If I do take up Kent, I would leave in January, which is when 2nd semester start. The only thing is I would be leaving in approximately 6 weeks.

Decisions, decisions.

Here comes Friday and another two hours of Company Law. Oddly though, as much as it is dry and boring, I actually get it. Well.

But I have an extra tutorial on evidence, which sucks of course.

But it's fine. I can hang out in the library if I'm not up for it. I'll use the time to score more articles for my assignment. Maybe.

And after that, I'll have DIM SUM =)

Friday is now unofficially DIM SUM Day. It's so cute how it came about.

*courtesy of Flickr*

I'm already hungry!

p.s: 2012 was good. If only Alvin stopped laughing when people died.

Au Revoir!

wait wait!

QUESTION: would it be alright to un-friend a person on Facebook?If you no longer keep in contact and maybe you don't want to keep in contact with? Oh, the social rules we are bound to observe.

Take Your Time, See the Signs

2009-11-16T22:52:00.006+08:00

I understand that you have good intentions in trying to get everybody to hang out as a group.

But life is not as simple as it seems.

There are undercurrents that go on.

There is awkwardness to deal with.

There are subtleties that you do not quite get.

Yes, I do understand where you are coming from.
Hanging out as a close-knitted group may seem like the best idea in the world
But the politics that happens backstage is prevalent.

But like I have stated before, you are unaware of these so-called politics, so you cannot be blamed.

Though your idea of a close friendship may seem naive and impractical.
I respect you for who you are and what you aspire to achieve.
I just cannot accept that you try to impose the same standard and ideology on everyone else.

*courtesy of Flickr*

So, when you guys are having a celebration in my name, I swear, if anyone tries to pull off 'the more the merrier' antic, I will walk off and you can have dinner by yourselves. Sorry to sound so bossy and unapologetic, I'm telling it as it is.

I am not a pushover and I do not intend to adhere to your principles when it comes to friendship.

Speaking of the ideals of friendship: (this is now directly to an entirely different entity)

What you use to mean as a friend is now completely irrelevant
Now, all I can say is:
GO FUCK YOURSELF

I take it with your actions, you do not want to stay in contact anymore.
Fine by me.

Go fly somewhere high.
Join the mile high club.
Live your life.
Just do not include me as part of it.
Lose my contacts.
Lose our memories.

Ok thank you bye
P.S: And if you wonder whether I was talking about you, I am and I am not covering up anymore.

Don't bother explaining yourself.
Your words do not matter anymore than the worm in my garden.

Walk the Street With A Song In My Head

2009-11-13T23:35:00.003+08:00

*courtesy of Flickr*

Today I declare one of the most simplistic, most happy and most enjoyable day of the year.
To some, a day might just be another ordinary day.
And so the perspective differs from one another, and everyone is entitled to perceive things as they will.

Anyways, the reason for this state of elation was the fact that almost everything went well for the day. It started bad enough that i got up late for class. Nothing new, but taking the cab hurts my wallet.

However, I can dispel the myth that Friday the 13 is a bad day because of the events that happened after my lectures.

For one, I went to Starbucks to fuel my addictions, after successfully deterring from it for two weeks. Not bad isn't it? I have a suspicion, that i suffer from an addictive personality and therefore sometimes I get really afraid and giddy about taking something into intense liking.

Back to fueling my unending loyalty and lust for the over-priced caffeinated drinks there.
I was happy I took on the Christmas Themed one (Toffee Nut) and that they have given me the opportunity to further indulge in their stuff by giving me the opportunity to collect stamps for a planner!

Anyways, the Starbucks session with Ivan was great because it has been awhile since we hung out. I miss such times.

This continued when we got to ATC, cheese cake in hand, to celebrate for JP.
Her expression made me melt and I felt so appreciated and happy and warm.

The circle would have been completed if Jovan was here though. We miss him much.

Anyways... I took the train ride home with Alana Banana. Just like old times.

I think for most of my life, the sweetest and best of memories occur on the LRT. Catching up with her and talking about lots of stuff only makes me feel so much happier. Like old times, again.

I love what I left behind.
I love times like this.

What Goes Around Comes Around

2009-11-09T22:29:00.005+08:00

*courtesy of Flickr*

That's what you get for being a bitch.
And if everyone you thought was close to you, start to move away from your devious tricks and deceptions and lies.
I think it is better for them, better for you.
Then you would not have the chance to fuck up anymore lives.

Here's a cheers to you, going through a lonely Year Two (and hopefully also for Year Three if the fluffs you have as brains manage to scrape you through) alone. Better yet, with people that turned their backs against you. Even better, if you're forced to hang out with people you cannot stand.

On another irrelevant note, I had sushi for lunch. AGAIN.

I swear that if I do not lay off that mercury-laced delicacy I will be compelled to finish my assignments in the hospital, on the bed, and with assistance to use the washroom.

Speaking of which, I, expectantly, did not jump start my assignment yet. Not even the reading list. Rumour goes that the first on that list is 600 pages long. Poor me. Poor poor me.

And I'm going off to Bangkok for the Christmas. My dad subtly told me to cancel all my other plans for that week because everything that is planned for that trip is set in stone.

At least that planning has settled down in dust. What more can be said about the plans that have yet to see the cracks of daylight?

They say every action has an equal and opposite reaction, and once something is set on motion, it can't help up to build a momentum

-Gossip Girl-

So, if this is starting to be unbearable for you, fret not, things are only going to be a lot more worst than this. That being, the feeling of isolation.

Enjoying the previews, anticipating the show
Eu Chern

Four Letter Word Just To Get Me Along

2009-11-05T21:11:00.008+08:00

Fuck You.

No one invited you in the first place.

And your self-invitation make you look all the more crass ( if that is still possible since you have already portrayed yourself as a lowly scum that walks the face of the earth).

Who gives two shits on where you want to go?

And to pull everyone and manipulate the whole event to suit your preference.

If there is another stronger word for scum-sucking road whore, that's the epitome of your existence.

Until someone comes up with a better word. This is your moniker. Your label. Your life.

Granted, I do not know how you got invited in the first place, but sources tell me you advertised yourself, your less than subtle hints of wanting to join the soiree. Like a prostitute's advertisement in a dirty magazine. In neon pink no less.

I spit on your existence. I spit on you.

On a separate note.

I miss the good old days.
I used to miss it everyday. Honest to God. I did.
But now that I am much more open and floating and not walking on broken glass,
the tendencies of searching my memory banks is considerably less.

It does not mean I have allowed it to slip away.
It is etched in my heart, and I want to keep it as close to me as possible.
I miss it much.

I miss a much simpler time.

I miss LRT rides, Starbucks Sessions, Mall Hopping, Breakfast at The Curve, Level One Lecture Hall and all of the times we had.

*courtesy of Flickr*

Psst!
I want a Polaroid Camera before I leave for U.K.

To capture perfect moments and memories at its best.

And to make sure that the memories of you and I are captured almost as instantly as it is created.

December 10th is not far away,
start saving up.

Angrily nostalgic with a hint of shamelessness
Eu Chern

Drifting Out To The Sea

2009-11-03T23:19:00.001+08:00

* courtesy of Flickr*

I had a mini break on Monday, which continued on until today.

However, the reason which I have come to know of on how my holiday was granted wasn't all that sweet. My lecturer's mother passed away unexpectedly. Though I don't like the guy much (in fact, dislike is putting it on mild), I'm sorry for his loss.

Anyways, all the 8 a.m classes have made me numb to what it was like to wake up at 12 p.m on a weekday morning. When I woke up today, it seemed, for the first time, I fit in properly with nature. Walking about at 8 is against nature. So is utilising the brain.

However, I did not have my day in peace as I have some errands to run (read: being a personal chauffeur). Should look to the positive, shouldn't I? At least I would not have been stuck in class, grasping at everything that is so remote and unfamiliar to me.

Today, was sheer bliss. Nothing but absolute, sheer and utter bliss.

I wished I had more of these kind of days. It does not have to be at the expense of someone else's life though.

That is optional.

Tomorrow, It's back to the mundane life of a law student.
Fun is definitely not the right adjective for a two hour lecture in Tort.
I have been so negligent in my studies, by the way. (law pun! my sad life)

Au Revoir Tuesday, Bonjour Wednesday,
Eu Chern

Trade All Your Heroes In For Ghosts

2009-11-02T21:44:00.001+08:00

Hello to my non-existent readers.
I'm making a shift on the pages that you have once read, the pages you are reading, and the ones that you are about to read.

Hence, say goodbye to the morbidity of the theme that I had once adopted.
Black was the feeling I wear on the outside.
It still will be, I think, inevitably, but I know it is not fair to also force it down your throats.

Contents, on the other hand, will remain the same. That, I will not compromise. I speak my mind the way I want it.

When one does not speak their minds, it gets hazy inside that brain of yours. Maybe that's why some people mumble to themselves.

To the person I hate the most:
If you're such a good actress already, what the fuck are you doing in law school?
That's one thing, you're not ever going to get an award for. Unless it is a sympathy award for the brains you have, or lack of.

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine. ~Robert C. Gallagher

Pulls My Train

2009-10-29T00:40:00.000+08:00

I'm hungry.
I had completely forgotten about the significance of having a meal at night because of my eagerness to take a nap (which escalated to be one that lasted three hours)

Anyways...my dad got some stuff back from NZ, which is great...Cadbury Tiramisu Chocolate anyone?

I've caught two shows recently

The Private Lives of Pippa Lee ( Blake Lively!)
and
Whiteout

and even though Angeline branded the former 'pointless', and admittedly, three of us proceeded to having a conversation while the show commenced, it was good in a lazy Sunday morning way.

and Whiteout was so disgusting. Lesson learnt, never leave for UK without my gloves or risk amputating two fingers and getting my flesh torn apart when I touch any cold surface.

Now I'm stuck here, hungry, exasperated, and hungry while I struggle through the Company Law Tutorial Question. I did not even finish with my land Law notes which I promised to lend.

I want to watch Jennifer's Body. (damn you Alvin)
I will be watching the Time Traveller's Wife on Friday.
Life's good when there is a healthy dose of escapism.

Babies coo and make no sense, but that's fine because it is cute;
Grown-ups talk but if they make no sense, they need a head scan. Stat.
(I'm not being mean without merits, cross my heart)

Listen To The Radio, Are You Calling?

2009-10-22T00:09:00.001+08:00

The past week have been a whirlwind, and I got to be in the center of it. Overall, it made me feel.
Nothing in particular, just to feel.

And I guess I have to be grateful to her because she was wiling to diagnose and tell me the sole reason that the haters put me in misery last year. I guess I cannot blame them when they are not to be blamed indefinitely. I can only emphatise with their lack of biasness, judgments and brain cells.

Oh well, I guess that's why you guys can actually stand it hanging out with each other.
And to think that I was just being over-sensitive for the past year, when she, your FRIEND, feels the same way too. I have been too noble for too long, to put that blame on me.

I am so glad that my dad is in New Zealand currently.
It only means one thing: MORE leeway. =)
And he will only return next week!

Christmas came early I guess =)

I am still contemplating on AAR. Should I go or not?
The whole hype just does not register in my mind.

And I have to say this, nice attempt. But not good enough.
If the message was not in itself direct, I guess you too, suffer from a case of stupiditis.

Midvalley tomorrow. AGAIN. This time to celebrate a birthday.
For the past two weeks, I have been there at least 6 times. Blase to the extreme now, lest of course I have enough financial backings to spend furtively and feverishly. Then, I do not mind staying inside the mall until the deed is done.

Tomorrow's gonna be a good good night =)

There is Friday/ Saturday to look forward still. So, I guess when one door closes, another opens.

And Blair did not just diss Bette Davis...

Leave, Unsaid, Unspoken

2009-10-18T20:41:00.001+08:00

OK, So the sushi did not give me any mercurial form of ailments. Not that i should resent it, but it would be cool to skive off classes a few days every now and then.

OH! and I'm cleared for AAR. The whole celebration for my lecturer has been postponed to some not faraway date in November. There is something, it feels like a void now which I cannot seem to get through to the other side. Truth be told, I am just not all that excited about it anymore. The hype has subsided and it seem to be nothing more than a mere puff of a shortfused stage presentation.

I hope the Halloween party transpires. THAT would be fun. =)

Speaking of parties, in an attempt to stop the class from hating each other ( when you're doing law, I reckon that hate is just an unflattering way of telling someone that they are intimidated and threatened by you), they want to do an orientation for us Year Two students. In MOS, no less. Umm... does seem kind of pointless, does it not? I mean, yeah,, alcohol does wonders to the nerves, but it also contributes to unnecessary brawls, crude remarks and unwanted pregnancies.
EDIT:
my source was obviously way off tangent and gave me the wrong information =(
I have to keep telling myself not to take in word by word because, it turned out, the orientation was only brunch/fun and games

and I had completely forgotten to edit this, like an idiot. Going through my previous postings and seeing what I wrote made me look as though my IQ dropped by 20 points. I apologise to the humble readers who are under the impression that my life spells
F-U-N.

I say it does more bad than good.

And I'm sick and tired of having to initiate anything anymore.
This less-than-subtle message should do the trick. More like an ultimatum.
If no one gets it, it only means I have been wasting my time with either a bunch of retards, or a bunch of cold hearted people.

And I am so glad in college now. At least, a tad more than last year. Having to deal with psychophantic bitches really is a bore. I can actually breathe again. Breathe.

Dogs never bite me, only humans.

Nothing Thrills Us Anymore

2009-10-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

Boo...this is some cruel joke that the Powers Above decide to bestow upon me
You see, Evidence Lecture is nothing but two hours of pure hysterical nonsensical jokes and Company law a drag, I need to resort to more innovative methods of pretending I actually am listening in my lecture

The 3minute= one song rule (it's a game I used to adhere to religiously in Physics back in the days, where every song is sung for 3-5minutes in an attempt to pretend like you're listening and successfully spend the time idling away. So, in 30 minutes, you would have hummed 10 songs, give or take ) does not apply anymore because the more the lecture drones on, the more I am tempted to create treachery by sleeping on my textbooks or to have a tiny sweet escape to the Mamak.

So, my dear friend Angeline told me she have been reading Twilight and The Golden Compass in those mundane classes in an effort to evade the Sandman.

Excitedly, I told her to Bluetooth it to me. But it did not work (Blessing number one)
Then, she kindly offered, way past her bedtime, to send it to me via Msn and she kept her end of the bargain. So thank you!

But Blessing number 2 was the best one yet.
Not only does the USB cable not work, but the file cannot be compressed nor modified to a compatible format and so it Potong-ed my steam. BIG TIME.

So, not only did I NOT get The Golden Compass, I did not even get (in desperation) that book on constipated vampires.

Anyways, I've found a partner for my debate.
She is awesome/ aggressive. So, I say it is a good catch.
Good thing we get to choose our own partners.
Soon, I will get to relive the days where we debate upon intellectual topics and the adrenaline that comes along with it. it is not necessarily law related. So, it brings me back closer to what I got back then, duplicating that feeling would be great again.

It makes me feel alive.

And yes, what is a week without drama?

What's life without drama right?
But I do not revel in it if it involves people that I truly can be comfortable with.

The Hoi Polloi can have all the drama they want
So long as it is not at the expense of those I have come to accept.

Anyways, if tomorrow's Sushi Plan works out fine (minus the drama), I would have been eating it for the third time this week, and one step closer to getting mercury poisoning.

I want to watch movies. there are good stuff out there now.

Whatever.

I found something Bette Davis said

'One must live in the present tense...But I have always lived in the present tensely.'

How relatable.

And her memoir I will get. If anything, I admire Bette Davies for being courageous. She had balls.
An impressive career and an attitude that is larger than life. She has great work ehtics that I can only dream of emulating.

Preparing a list of songs to hum in Company tutorial tomorrow.
Good Night.

I've Got Problems Up To Here

2009-10-13T21:11:00.000+08:00

Admittedly

I have been rather moody recently

And for what obscene reason I have no clue for (actually I do but lets not disclose such matters yet )

Well let's take a look at some of the options here shall we?

(a) I'm bi-polar and go through infinite highs before plunging into the deepest seas of lows

(b) I actually have an incurable disease due to the hedonistic approach i take in life

(c) I became one of those people that visits the washroom with my finger ready after a full meal

(d) I hate it that you, a friend, do not seem to care or emphatise or feel or even try to listen

I'm quite positive there is an answer in there somewhere
To literally translate from an old Malay saying:

He who eats the chili knows how hot the chili is

Runaway On A One Way Track

2009-10-09T23:28:00.000+08:00

It is pointless then
To tell you what is right and wrong
Because we have all been there for you
To console you
To advice you

But if you fall back to your old ways
We cannot do anything but to wish you all the best
And hopefully
I do not have to tell you 'I told you so'

Different story now...

I feel really tired recently
Not even in the mood to go out
can you believe it?
Must be the flu
Or the pills I have been taking

And to the High-and-Mighties:
Who are YOU to criticise us in your non-discreet judgmental ways when you failed your fucking paper TWICE?

You really got to stop pretending that you own those non-existent balls
seriously.

Saw a trench coat at my haunt
and just found out my results average out to be a second class upper =)

Do you think this is grounds for a reward?

Oh, I think so
Guess the flu is subsiding =)

Promise You Will Never See Me Cry

2009-10-08T00:54:00.000+08:00

I cannot seem to think straight recently.
and my life is nothing but a non-stop mindfuck that I have to deal with alone.

Because I am terrified.
Because I am afraid of being alone.
Because I hate that there is not anyone there for me when I need someone.

Friends
Where were you? All of you?

Don't bother
If you did not in the first place why start now?

Anyways, going off to bed soon
Escapism comes in the form of dreams or nightmares
At least you get to wake up from it sooner or later

Suddenly I See

2009-10-02T22:08:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Today marks the final day of my class for the week (I have a class tomorrow that I'm not attending which I will explain in due time, but, who's keeping score anyway? )

And I have to say this

=(

Why?

No fun tutorials (with the infiltration of the September intake)
No last year's tutorial.
No mood.
No late classes.

I ish the most negative person right now.

But then, I am very thankful that I am able to distance myself from the people I'm not really fond of. THAT, I'm thankful for.

And I found another group of friends I can be more comfortable with. But it's too early to tell, better bite my tongue *bleeds*

ON the Bright Side

=)

I finished The Lost Symbol.
I like the fact that Some classes actually end at 10 and I'm done for the day.
I don't have to go home after class for at least three times a week, and no work is involved.
I think the people I'm hanging out with have less to hide and more to share.

I guess it's balanced after all.

Psst!
some of the Sept people are trying to show attitude already. If they still live in a bubble, we're EQUAL peers now. Shove that attitude up your ass, and suffer in silence ok?

But there are nice people too.

And class tomorrow is clearly not an option as a few of us unanimously decided that CY's farewell is way more important then our own future. (in Klang, for BKT no less)

Another farewell it seems.

It's true what she said.

'people come and go like rain' - Lilo

Nothing Heard, Nothing Said

2009-09-30T22:14:00.000+08:00

I'm glad to finally get confirmation that you hate me too =)

Well, now that it is not a one sided affair, let's see who is the last one standing

Thanks for revealing the truth, girl who had lunch with me. I owe you big time. (and eight bucks for lunch. YES I am very susceptible to losing money generously.)

There She Goes

2009-09-28T22:52:00.000+08:00

The title for this post pretty much covers everything that will be written, so:

Met Up With Nicole to discuss her bright future on being a cheerlea...., I mean Lawyer =)

And she left in a conspiracy with Shereen and Joyee

So did Louise Slut Pei Chun

At Kanna lol...Chs-ians favourite hang out ( next to Domino's or 7-11)

Old Habits Die Hard

Glad you liked the gift =)

And Lucinda sprung another surprise on us that she will be leaving for Durham

Boooo...then it will only be like a mostly four, rarely five people kind of an outing =(

It's a conspiracy i tell you

Please don't turn your backs on me =(

Unless if you can do it as sexily as we did, then you're excused (for topping such an effortless shot, it makes you real remarkable )

She's precocious

2009-09-13T21:20:00.000+08:00

My two cousins and my mom

But the aforementioned 'she's precocious' clearly indicates the youngest

I'm really bored, can you tell?

How am I spending my holidays post-results?

(to a certain someone, the library isn't that cozy huh? don't you prefer to be waking up in the noon? well, you can't...you failed your bloody paper! teehee! )

Waking up at 2 (on Wednesdays a little bit earlier for the sake of teaching)

Lunch at 3

If I'm in the mood, I read

My reading List

The Master and Margarita - Mikhail Bulgakov

The Age of Innocence- Edith Wharton

The Two Towers- J.R.R Tolkien

I'm done with Anonymous Lawyer. Wicked stuff. I just hope my life does not turn out like that and that the illustration of the law world is blown out of proportion. Thanks Jing =)

I still want to get Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar and Edgar Allan Poe's complete work

and I help out (the bare minimum) at home

and I go out without feeling guilty (guilt only towards my poor poor wallet)

and I surf the net

and I sleep at 4 (screwed up biological clock no thanks to the treacherous exams, need to tweak the gizmo's soon before second year starts)

To my other cohorts who are re-taking papers!

Good Luck and all the best

I really hope to see all of you in Year two

Oh yeah, while I'm posting mini hate notes:

Don't bother to keep in touch if that's how you like it

But please do not push the blame this way ok?

The world does not revolve around your air tight world

Coming out once in awhile won't hurt

But I guess you're just really afraid of the big bad world

Life ain't made of rainbows and cupcakes

I spit on that mentality

this is 'rainbows and cupcakes' for you

Waste Away the Days Waiting on a New Age

2009-09-07T22:03:00.001+08:00

Hello.

You know what?

I have completed my year one law.
=)

And I'm happy.

Why?

Because my grades(ok I guess) allow me to pick out any partner universities for my third year
0f course my results next year must be also of standard, but that is besides the point.

But I am most happy with the fact that I was able to finish everything in one sitting

and why is that important?

You see, in most universities
or at least
the better universities
they will only accept students who are able to successfully complete their exams in a single sitting

No failing, no retaking.
Tough luck, but that is life

And because of that
Some people that I clearly despise and abhor
will most definitely not be even considered for the universities that I am setting my sights on

Poor little pathetic soul, poor little girl (refering to only one person here)
No matter how hard you try next year
Your efforts (or lack thereof) this year only shoved you one step closer to second rated universities

And with that, comes your label
That you will be second rated all your life
settling for a red ribbon, and not a blue one

Lest of course, you sleep with someone who can get you places

But not everyone is a turn on
Especially not you.

On the bright side, you get to mingle with people of your status
But then again
failing seems to be your forte, you probably don't even feel a thing.

I am really thankful I got through this storm
and am just awaiting the next hurdle
Bah... that can wait, september the 28 seems faraway

I have to occupy myself till then
I am mature enough to decide that tutoring in that place is nothing but a mere temporal state
And therefore, it would only seem foolish to want to exert so much effort there

But I am trying to branch out here, teaching two private school students
They learn far more interesting stuff then anything we have encountered in high school

I mean, you don't get Charlotte's Web as part of your course work now, do you?
All we had were nonsense like The Pencil and Bally Shoes.

Such no-brainers.

To do list
- Night market and a mini sleepover
-Possibly Klang
-Possibly, hoping it comes true Penang
-Hang out (I'm really free people!)
-Get new attire for Year Two
-Send people off
-Rot at home
-Watch more movies

It's Just a Ride

2009-08-28T23:46:00.000+08:00

Hey!

a small comic relief
=)

I was playing poker on muka buku
then all of the sudden this guy verbally abused me
>=(

something about me taking his gold
I am sure he is not local
He needs a dictionary and probably the 11 years of english lessons that we put up with

Oh!
will change his name
will leave the initials though
he might be self obsessed enough to search for his own name

TR: ha ha ha ha
Eu Chern: wad is ur problem?
TR: i say
TR: you have my gold
TR: nikolina the eu is ashole
Eu Chern: same to u =)
TR: **** yoy!!!!!!1
TR: y\wat the **** is here
TR: looc your face eu
Eu Chern: it looks better den yours
TR: sarap
TR: you are a poor
Eu Chern: haha
Eu Chern: if you call these chips as money
Eu Chern: u must be crazy
TR: im
Eu Chern: i know
TR: u must a poor ha ha ha
TR: you are my friend
TR: you know??
Eu Chern: dun be crazy
Eu Chern: i am not your fren
TR: ok
TR: you tal me
TR: yeare you like here
TR: ?????
Eu Chern: up to me
Eu Chern: non of your busines
TR: ok
TR: you have a frieds
TR: ?
TR: you are a kid?
TR: ?????
Eu Chern: wad has that got to do wid u?
TR: get lastom
TR: sit up
TR: u die
Eu Chern: demented
TR: **** you man
TR: ****
TR: ****
TR: you are lost
Eu Chern: im not a child
Eu Chern: you are
TR: no
TR: im
TR: a big boy
Eu Chern: den dun act like a child
TR: you are child
TR: ha ha ha
TR: looc your face is a uglly
Eu Chern: better den you
Eu Chern: u have no face
Eu Chern: wad?
Eu Chern: too ugly?
Eu Chern: dare not show?
TR: i have
TR: my face is beouti
TR: hi izabela
Eu Chern: please do not make me vomit
TR: **** you now
TR: ok?
Eu Chern: no thank you
TR: no please **** you
Eu Chern: please find out wad that means
Eu Chern: and do not simply use it
TR: get out man guigly

I thought it was so amusing to see people drop the f bomb over chips that can only score you virtual items
I HAVE to copy it
then i got disconnected
I hate using wireless connection

got paid 30++ to play Taboo with some kids
for an hour
BEAT THAT =)

oh and movies were good
oh and I love ice cream and a new dependency on coffee
and Charlie the Unicorn
and Melacca
AGAIN =)

hope we will bump into each other on poker again!
this time
I won't play nice

=)
euchern

That's Why I Try To Keep At Bay

2009-08-24T00:42:00.000+08:00

Meet Amanda

Say 'hi' people, don't be rude

She's a slut

My slut

and she will only response to this name without slapping you if you are a slut (being that, only the six of us can call her that)

Why is she featured?

Because she left us behind

*pouts*

To America

*whines*

And she will not come back in a while now

*sobs*

I hate it when people leave, especially when people who mean something to me do so

I mean, if I don't like you

your departure is more then welcome

but this is not the case

I will miss those days

In the van

In the classroom

In malls

In Starbucks

and it is inevitable that the circle will not be full anytime soon

but I guess I will still have the memories right?

sorry Amanda, I did not call you personally to send you off

I might get overwhelmed and break down

seriously

I guess I am ashamed to let people know I cry

I hope my text sounded ernest and sincere

Because I meant it when I say I will miss you

LOADS

Have fun there alright?

I still want this teddy

And another picnic

And another sleepover

Heck, another outing will do

Red and White

your favourites (I think)

Eu Chern

Waiting For My Thoughts To Fade

2009-08-17T03:34:00.000+08:00

Last Paper in Less Than 10 hours... (last friggin paper can be believe it?!)
.
.
I do not want to fail my criminal law paper

I do not want to feel guilt about failing my criminal law paper

I cannot wait for that three hours to be done and over with
.
.

.
.
.
.
.

.
I want sleep for more than 3 hours

I want to catch up on movies I have neglectedor barred from watching (no thanks to exams)

I want a release

I want to go out

I want more money and in effect more stuff
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wish Me Luck

And I will see you guys on the Other Side =)

Dog Days

2009-08-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

One more paper left
Three weeks of freedom
Then One dreaded Day
And hopefully *fingers crossed*
One year of second year law

overall exams are *insert word here for I do not know myself* (actually its only one paper that I am not really proud of but I am dissatisfied overall)
I think I will go through
but the voice in my head is giving me guilt that I deserve
for abandoning a life of diligence
for a more hedonistic approach

fuck that voice
sometimes people do not know when to shut up

I admit, me too
I speak too much sometimes
A lot actually
but what is important is that I speak what I feel
I feel what I speak

Next week is a relatively important week
Criminal Law paper
and a farewell which needs to be dealt with =(

Overall. sounds depressing
But Saturday will be coming
and it's inevitable
so my sexy sluts (sans one, yes I am visibly annoyed/frustrated/pissed off but it is not like that guy remembers or knows anything... )
let's live it up =)

with the rate you're going
the only birthday present you are going to get from me is a carrot stick
and a life-time supply of remorse

trust me
you want me happy'

see you guys next week!

Just Enjoy the Show

2009-08-08T00:15:00.000+08:00

For those who thinks law is a breeze
On top of being delusional
You clearly are under crack...

Have fun looking into my life and the life's of many many aspiring lawyers =)
I get how the guy feels it's scary

Sad?
Who ever said life stopped being a bitch?
Back to my books
=)

Nothing in this World

2009-07-29T03:44:00.001+08:00

is sadder than sleeping at 4 everyday for the pass three days in hopes of cramming everything in your head 12 days before the exams

whoever wants to tell me 12 days is a lot better be prepared

i might shove something so deep into your anatomy you wish you were never born
=)

ok...dunno why I put that smiley there

neurotic tendencies you know...try sleeping at 4 repeatedly

Last Saturday was a blast
was like orgasm for a full day

though some effer by the name of efFCK was being a damper to the thing

I do not think at the end of the day, mattered

Because we had fun and fun we had and we had fun...ok shut up

hiking at one in the morning was definitely fun too
way to start off a Sunday

and McD at two in the morning was teh sex =)

so thank you for a great time people!

Lord only knows how much I needed it

it's 3.50 am now
yup
just finished one essay on Contract
pathetic life

want to start on Criminal Law now
I fear that i might not do well

people keep telling me i will

either they are lying and waiting for me to let my guard down (paranoid right?)
or they mean it...but I have such low confidence in my own capabilities

I am allowed to whine just a week before doomsday

oh yeah
let me quote Karl Lagerfeld

'it's too easy to forgive. I love revenge. Forgiving is not my favorite thing. I can forget by indifference, but not forgive.'

yeah..I feel the same way too

Have a problem with that?

dial
1300-whogivesafuck-124329

its directed to people of course
by no means anyone I have come to like
but if you noticed that I do not talk to you at all
and I mean AT ALL
you know you're it

A glimpse at madness:

this was Saturday...with booze of course

and hiking at one in the morning..you gotta admire the camwhore in us

and McD at two in the morning =)

off for hot chocolate (fine...Milo) and then to torture my brain cells with mundane case names
bye !

Where did I Go Wrong

2009-07-21T01:12:00.000+08:00

Why do I love Luna Lovegood more than the other characters?

Her willingness to give and trust and her faith in everything reminds me of what I fail to grasp

Everybody Comes To Hollywood

2009-07-18T23:20:00.002+08:00

Hollywood is in denial of the recession
like me =)

I'm Not Ready To Back Down

2009-07-18T02:05:00.000+08:00

Alright, need my sleep for tomorrow's mooting...
I still think it is one of the most impractical exams in the world
you get yourself prepared, by researching cases, over the course of two days
then, compiling them into a bundle of authority, making three copies altogether, so that your lecturer has one, you have one, and your opponents have one.
then, you take another day to analyse your opponent's arguments to kill off any chances of them winning
then, you have to prepare the correct ways of speaking in court, and drafting out what you have to say (which I have just completed at this ungodly hour)
then you take another couple of hours to get prepared, suit and transport and rehearsals and coffee... and then it is finally your turn

a do or die
sink or swim

for only an insignificant fraction of time that you have spent on it
why?
because on average
the test takes only
ten fucking minutes

and you're done
fuck the world

Less than 30 days to D-day
the title is self explanatory
scored well enough for my Criminal Law Assignment
the one where i swore up, down, left, right and centre that i will fail it
my bad
=)

highest mark was 16/20
i got a 14.4
well enough

Greta Garbo's Standoff Sighs

2009-07-12T02:40:00.000+08:00

I now understand the value of time
Actually..I understand it every time exams draw near..but bear with me on this

And it makes me realise more that as much as I would like to have everyone and everything that means everything to me and possibly everyone else to stick around a little longer, it is not possible

And I guess it makes more sense that I should not get involved in a situation with too much emotions involved
Looking back at a clip on Ying's blog about high school makes me more adamant to being as such

The memories that were brought back alive were great, but too great that one wishes that he or she might be able to live it again

What a pile of bollocks

No such thing as that I guess...

I am not saying I want to be alone
God only knows how much that scares me
I want to be let alone... and i will try to be let alone
and that is all the difference in the world

People come and go like rain
Some come like an everlasting draught ( unfortunately)
And some only comes after a storm

But how many people in your life would linger like the welcomed air around us?

On the bright side for the week (I thought i ought to show my life is not soaking in deep and unwarranted thoughts)

Idle on Monday

Had lunch with people I could actually come to like on Tuesday

Them fuckers did not go for class(honest to God, I would not even piss on them if they were on fire) and I caught The Nanny Diaries on Wednesday

Another un-ruined day and I caught Mr Magorium on Thursday

Zara and Carine on Friday

Starbucks thrice (morn, noon and nite) on Saturday

Watching Lindsay's new movie Today

when your life is as macabre as mine (at least for the time being, I wonder when can i leave this mess behind)...the littlest things will turn your frown upside down

Peace out

Eu Chern =)

Again For False Affection

2009-07-04T14:23:00.000+08:00

Recently, my nerves started to work a little better and have started reerting to my old tormentious ways of studying....scratch that, not to the extreme yet, but on my way there

What with going out and temptations and spending like I have too much to burn
at least I have started with my revision

36 Days is a scary thought that bugs me and eats me up inside and it renders me vulnerable and helpless

But I am doing what i can to defeat that sense of hopelessness

What i really want to share is not how i resent and hate studying and not preparing earlier
but is this quote i learnt from a movie

it is so whimsical yet tells you the truth if what one would expect to learn in a relationship

I think it was around 2 in the morning when i decided to take a 15 minute break from studying *pfft*

and i went downstairs to scavange for food
but instead...i watched the devil's box

and stumbled upon this movie

Love And Other Disasters
such an apt title, don't you think

and there was this quote that made me LMAO
here it is:

Therapist: Relationships are best measured by farting.

Peter: Excuse me?

Therapist: The stages of a relationship can be defined by farting. Stage one is the conspiracy of silence. This is a fantasy period where both parties pretend that they have no bodily waste. This illusion is quickly shattered by that first shy, :'Ooh, did you fart?' followed by the sheepish admission of truth. This heralds a period of deeper intimacy. A period I like to call the 'Fart Honeymoon', where both parties find each other's gas just the cutest thing in the world. But, of course, no honeymoon can last forever. And so we reach the critical fork in the fart. Either the fart loses its power to amuse and embarrass thereby signifying true love, or else it begins to annoy and disgust, thereby symbolising all that is blocked and rancid in the formerly beloved. Do you see where I'm getting at?

the therapist is played by Dawn French
for those who catch Little Britain
it was she who, in character, said her daughter had a face of a fucking angel
x)

back to all the notes i have failed to properly compile for the past 4 months or so
Criminal Law can be a pain in the neck
*i'm not refering to the lecturer if you see this then i wrote it while i was not sobered up yet*

euchern

Edge Of Your Seat

2009-06-26T21:47:00.000+08:00

Or at least..that was how i felt before negotiation skills...

Anyways...really lazy/nervous/happy/disgusted/sad/angry (see schizophrenia at its worst...i need a shrink) will not tell you why all the emotions at once...but maybe later

Pictures!

Law students are notoriously known to be heavy party goers (before slaving in a firm of course) but a little known fact is that they are quite apt at posing too =)

i do not want to stereotype myself as only being the fishy-fishy (a nickname bestowed by this really adorable girl)...so i resisted =)

the negotiators a.k.a lawyers in the making (students looking really cool indeed)

my opponents and me and my partner =)

we settled stuff well

and we actually do not hate each other! (not like those cliche shots of opponents backstabbing opponents kind of thing)

And i hate suits

I officially hate them

and the sobered up colours

but it is SEXY

next up ! Finals and Mooting (suit again...)

and i hate expectations from lecturers

but i guess a little stress is needed to push me

need some coke

why am i saying this?

euchern

Rain Into a Paper Cup

2009-06-14T22:02:00.000+08:00

It was clearly the type of weather that most would avoid.

The looming clouds were grey and it reveled in taunting in an erratic manner: for a moment, it foretold the beginnings of a storm so terrible as though it was conjured from the tales of old. Then, some time later, it gave hope to those below it. A peek of sunlight surfaced and as soon as it gathered enough sighs of relieve from the subjects of its sadism, it blanketed the light.

The winds were as equally unsympathetic in its temperament, subjecting everything to its movement. The trees swayed in force, subdued and unwillingly part of this mindless control. The leaves and petals were not spared either, the dry winds scooped them up only to toss them around, tearing them apart in this dance of frenzy.

Cold is the touch of the surrounding atmosphere. Cold does not even began to describe what it feels like to be out there alone.

This is clearly the type of weather that one would want nothing more than to curl up in the warmth of their bed, patiently waiting for the passing of the storm.

Not for this girl.

While most of her counterparts prayed frantically, in hopes that the weather would make a detour until they reached a shelter, she was adamant in reaching her destination.

The first feature one would notice was the sea of red that ebb and flowed which was that of her mane. As scarlet as the embers of fire, more regal than the king of the forest. She seemed to revel in that mane of hers, not bothering to tame it with a ribbon. She looked like a vision partially engulfed in flames.

Her eyes held on to the most confusing of emotions. A passerby who witnessed her walking on his left would say it carried a look of disdain. He who saw her on his right might classify it as anger. Some debated that it merely was the look of aloof. Though some claimed it looked like happiness. She was not your average Mona Lisa. A smile might mean different things that are opened to interpretation, but the eyes never lie. All of their guesses were correct, one way or another.

She walked on, her back was straight.
She walked with dignity, with the bones of a flamingo. She knew that she only needed to hold on to this posture for a little while more. A little while more and she will reach her final destination.

What is the point of dignity, when one lost it already. She questioned herself.

And no sooner than that, she was there.

The pier.

She always loved the water, and always loved the pier. For everything, good or bad, this is where she will turn to.

The first place she took a picture with her family.
The first place she shared her first kiss with someone else.
The first time she held her birthday party, and subsequently, all of her parties.
The first place she would go to to mend her broken heart.

But the place felt new and unfamiliar to her now. She feels that the place is tainted, destroyed, and all her memories seemed like a distant past. It did not feel the same anymore. it was as though the pier did not welcome her presence.

She looked at a particular spot and inevitably, fragments of her nightmare came back to haunt her:

She had too much to drink.

She remembered laughter. She remember company. Male company. She remembered the next morning. She remembered her torn up dress. She remembered the scratches and the bruises on her back. She remembered the cut on her lip. She remembered the stares when she walked back home, battered and abandoned. She remembered the harsh slap on her face. She remembered feeling nauseated. She remembered the test results. She remembered walking here.

It already started to pour. Heavily. Taking no heed to the weather, she walked at the edge of the pier on tip toes with the grace of a ballerina. She looked into the sea green of the sea. It seemed warm and inviting, unlike the pier which shunned her.

She just needed to breathe.
So, she decide to sit, wanting to soak up the essence and moisture of the rain.
The slippery pavement was not of aid.
She slipped.
The fall made her plunge into the sea of emerald.

She struggled, and tried to navigate her way back to the pier. But the waves were pulling her further from the pier. She was persistent, she needed to go back to her safe haven, the pier. The pier that was her piece of heaven.

She looked at the pier, focusing on the pier, trying to conjure all memories that made her fond of the pier. The only thought that came to mind was how cold and foreign and isolated and lifeless it seemed to be at present.

As she was embraced by the waters around her.
She thought of the sea to be more inviting.
The sea seemed less judgemental than the pier, it took in everything, and did it without blame or rejection or biasness.
At that moment, the sea felt more of a save haven. She liked how she felt so weightless in it.
All of a sudden, she decided to give up the comfort that the pier once provided and gave up altogether.

She stopped breathing.
She knew the sea, of all things would help her seek solace.

She was right.

Hours later, her porcelain skin became alabaster. Her white dress was semi translucent. The red of her hair clashed in perfect harmony with the sea. Her face was only the image of serenity and peace. She came for she wanted.

After the whole incident and the robbery of her innocence, she could not face the world. The world chose not to face her. She felt trapped.

With the aid of the sea, she was trapped no more.
She floated.

* Done out of boredom and Ying Hui wrote a story on her blog and i cannot seem to recall when was the last time i wrote. So, it might not be as 'awe inspring' as the ones i wrote back in high school. Trash it all you want, =)

Who needs avenues? Who needs resevoirs?

2009-06-10T22:42:00.001+08:00

Taken from a song entitled 'Manhattan' by the Kings of Leon
Nothing really emo this time
so, heave a sigh of relief as i relieve you of further torture =)

anyways... had a tutorial today and the discussion led on to a point where the question posed was that, if i had a choice to migrate, where would it be? (migratiing for a politically sensitive issue which i will not disclose for fear of the habeus corpus )

and of course
i ruled out every countries which might require me to speak in the oriental language (i wonder why)
and it left me with not really a lot of viable and adequate choices
i cannot be as selfless as one of my college mates to choose a thrid world country because she wanted to aid them (oh, the nobility)

so naturally, i chose the U.S
not just because i hold on to the tiny little fantasy of living it up in New York (but my title is a giveaway is it not?)

but because, to many people, it represents a fragment of hope
and i, albeit a little naive, might want to believe in that fragment
and as cynical and dark and depressing and pessimistic i am most of the time

i used to be a really positive person at one point
and maybe because i cooked up the little fantasy above circa the positive era,
i am bound to it in an unexplicable way

as much as i am bound to alot of other things too

like what?
i don't know
feel really schizophrenic now

i cannot really pin point something at this point
and it is so true that we relate to things that we feel similiar to

like moths to flames
like fire to leaves

i am trying to figure it out
and so far i am coping
but who can say for how long

zomg...post became emo-ish
my bad

=)

Catching things and eating their insides

2009-06-09T21:24:00.000+08:00

That's what i hope something out there would do to you

Because you do not deserve to live
nor do you deserve to screw around with people's life

I wish you would drop dead

as if i am not sadistic enough

even if you don't die a horrible death

i hope you die alone
that should be good punishment

my friends are right

you do not deserve me

We're In The City of Wonder

2009-06-01T22:53:00.000+08:00

I know it's kinda late, but
Happy Fucking Birthday THAM YING HUI!
to my defense, it ain't my fault that the photos were almost desroyed and never can be retrieved again

anyways.. not pointing fingers here

words alone cannot express much
let camwhoring to the trick =)

This cozy lil place known as The Apartment....and we ate in the Showers...together
sounds a lil raunchy huh? but i assure you, it was all pure clean fun
x)

Ying's lil toy of pleasure..she had such a fetish for this thing that day...

Just Desserts =)

or as i like to call it, orgasm in the mouth
=)

then, a walk down to i-forgot-what-is-that-name hotel for more shameless fun

Birthday Girl In Her Birthday Chair (property of Hotel...must return by midnight)

One can only act glamourous for that long...

Something To Sleep To

2009-05-27T18:33:00.000+08:00

Random Musings:
You Have Been Warned:

I was on the LRT today..and it just reminded me the times when i had to board it home after every extra activities in high school

Now i take it home as it is an inevitable means of transport...

but it used to be fun

I used to take the train home with a friend..which i will not disclose who
i mean...it meant a lot to me
but it might not mean a lot to my friend
to put down a name might make it look like a big deal
so i'm leaving it as it is
i do not know if my friend appreciated it as i did

but to me
it was great having someone to take a ride home with
because the rides seemed more fun
it seemed so much shorter and i would resent it
i would get to talk about so much stuff and joke about the most inappropriate matters and swear like a sailor and it would be so embarrassing to stand next to us
but it's not like a gave a shit
because what mattered more was that i had fun

it's sort of like....i do not really regret the things i did in my life
because it is done and over with...i lived life like a hippie
at least...
i did

and now when i take a ride on the LRT
i t seems like a drag
at least i had two cohorts i can be obnoxious with last year
and yes..they might have cringed or wished we did not enter the train together
it was fun

again...like a hippy...fuck anyone who gave me a stare
=)

but it is now a chore..most of the days...to be on the train by myself

fuck...i hate being alone
i hate not having someone who i can share my feelings and thoughts and everything with
i just hate being alone

come Friday
i will lose another person to the inevitable pull of higher education
and i will not be able to do what i normally do at the end of the week
i hate that

i just do not think there is anyone else that is worthy to spend my Fridays with

but then again
it will be selfish of me to want to hold back so many things

this is so unbecoming of a student who is about to study abroad
so i guess i should start learning to appreciate loneliness right now

alright done with another dose of emo-ness
euchern

You're alone on a tuesday

2009-05-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

I am so free right now

A little too free right now

I am suppose to be pushing the panic button frantically because when i think about it, exams are not that far off

Anyways.... i want to get a camera... common sense tells me that i should get one right before i leave for the other side

But I have been dying to have one of my own

and on top of that

i want an I-POD
i want a Mac
i want a whole slew of other stuff (my habits)

when will i ever learn?

OK...Ugly Betty starting in a while

Life within these cold fortifications is becoming unbearable...but i am numb with it
so i say... to hell with comfort

LOL...someone said something very stupid today....
please do not tell the world we are actually associated in any forms
i might die of shame
wanna know who?
it's quite obvious
let me give a hint

Scenario:
a beggar sits dejectedly on the street
putting on his best feed-me look to gain sympathy from people around him
they walk pass him and his act was not good enough for someone to take pity on him
then, miracles of miracles
someone came forth, and pushes a crisp dollar note into his palms
and the beggar, instead of gratitude said this
'please, do not try to humiliate me with this note, what can i do with it? if there are no perks in being a lowlife beggar, i might as well stop doing this for a living'

i suggest a dose of intelligence, and humility and common sense before you speak
better then what any doctor out there can prescribe for your seemingly non-sensible and mundane talk

that's you!
x)

Sunset Only Seconds

2009-05-18T21:22:00.000+08:00

Now that all that shit is shoved out of place
i have no idea how to adapt to a night without any stress from assignments
so beware of a massive overload of blogging (if i feel up to it) of another episode of fleeting thoughts
x)

but i would presume this to be the calm before a storm
the storm being my finals
=x

i want to jumpstart studying
but i do not want to

but before i hit the panic button
and start my A-Levels studying ritual again
i want to REST

( DO NOT COPY HOW I STUDY FOR A LEVELS..... IT DOES THE BODY BAD)

on the other hand, dedicating a post on her is a waste of space
but I feel ok
thanks peeps

have not gathered enough thoughts yet
to fill this page
so see you when i see you

=)
euchern

I'm walking with the Living

2009-05-18T16:27:00.000+08:00

Euphoria is the best adjective to describe the person who had just gotten rid of his last bloody assignment

*smileys*

Holy-shit(!) best describes the said person when he found out there is only 13 more weeks to his finals

Delusional on the otherhand, best describes what he feels about the exam

*close my eyes and the answers will come to me*

Nostalgic best describes the days where the whole gang hung out again

*Angels and Demons was ok....then again, all book adaptations will rarely live up to expectations*

Hopeful best describes this coming Thursday =)

*teehee!*

Celebrated Ms K's birthday :

Damned best describes tomorrow's client counselling session
*suit, bag and leather shoes x)*

Absurdity best describes why the Fuck i am not asleep when i am given a chance to

time for some kinder-bueno

euchern

It will always be what I love and Hated

2009-05-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

Seriously
i do not know what are you trying to do to me
it is not fair on my part...don't you think so?
you cannot just play around with my feelings
and then pretend like it is all a silly little game

like playing spin the bottle
and the dare is for you to kiss the boy who, at the same time, secretly have this massive crush on you
but obliged you did
and therefore, fucking around with that boy's mind?
what runs through that pretty little head of yours?

all that hair and breeze
i used to love to see your hair in the wind

now i cannot even bear to look you into your eyes when we talk
more specifically
when you choose to talk

my friend thinks it is guilt you are feeling
i think it is sadism that turns you on
but in a funny little disturbing way
i love being subjected to that
especially when you do it

come on
this is not elementary school
long gone is that glass bottle
stop messing with my mind and my sanity and my dreams

i hate talking to you
you ruin me all the time
i should be angry at that
but i can't

i'm so helpless
if only forgetting you is as easy as forgetting a bad movie

this movie is nothing but a black comedy drama love story
and the leads are never meant to be together

that script sucks
but the audience know that the script makes perfect sense
the only one living in that fantasy of what might have been
is the poor soul known as the actor
the actress?
she moves on

euchern

Adorable Illusion and I Cannot Hide

2009-05-11T23:36:00.000+08:00

Done with my assignment
and a newer personal best on the bloody plagiarism system : 4% =)

have not slept in days just to tie up all the lose ends that threatens to break the foundations of this project.....

went out on friday last week.... economy must be really really down
why?
because: i was at my old haunt where i had the mood to get something, a jacket when i am going off to UK( i see the disbelief and disapproval in your eyes ) next September
the thing that caught my eye was tagged at RM 499,

yerp..an effing cool amount (you can feed yourself, do some charity work, get a good book and maybe a FEW clothes along the way)
and i was in deep contemplation as to whether i should get it or not
because

it looked cool
it was warm and comforty
it looked cool

but i chose to keep that stash of cash and waited for miracles of miracles to happen (like early santa)

and guess what?

it happened
well, at least in my tiny little delusion-ridden world

because on friday
i went back there again
just to look at it and to get opinion from the HO

and the price tag...
the price tag
the fucking bloody price tag...

was now a mere $269
and it was new...as in from its NEW COLLECTION

and it was ZARA
x)

nothing like helping to boost the economy eh? (my favourite charity)

did i mentioned how my sleep patterns are already?

wednesday- slept at 4, and woke up at 4.15 (adrenaline and stress and anxiety...not a good combination)

thursday- did not sleep (assignment + exam at eight on friday= need for coffee)

friday- can't fall to sleep

the joys of college life
and i do not think it is that harmful to my system (although my brain seems to think otherwise)
because, you only live once
i can handle the hours
wait till you grow old and want to experience a sleepless night at will

i can guarantee you epic failure

have not been posting much pictures lately
but i will post up a few stuff i just got
and i'm not even touchiing them yet
aren't you proud?

feeling better lately
don't feel weighed down by the whole awkwardness that have been going on
time will tell where this will end up
good or bad
i'm just going to accept it for what it is
i'm not going to even blame her for it

i blame myself for falling in deep before anything is set in stone in the first place

went back to ATC today
missed it even more now
even more than ever
Robert Frost's little reminder is my head now

but i guess a path taken is the road chosen
there is a chance where both paths meet
but when?

want to express my gratitude to a few friends that have been guiding me to the path of recovery,
you have no idea how you cheered me up during times of confusion and heartbreak

that's all for now... gearing up for the NEXT assignment....last bloody fucking pathetic one
and the due that falls so conviniently on the same day as my first mooting assesment..next Monday
no sleep this week again =)

euchern

flashbulbs and purple irises

2009-05-04T23:44:00.000+08:00

had a great time with my favourite bitch today x)

today's luncheon really alleviated my mood today

so thank you Carine Lee

anyways...
was talking about the prospects of visiting Paris when i get to UK next year (Sept, people so no worries....yet)

and i'm really hyped up about it
i really wanna visit that place
can you believe it?

the eiffel
the metro stations
the lights

je t'aime Paris !
j'adore trop!

the thought of leaving for UK is mind blowing
and it gives me butterflies

but in a good way

au revoir
euchern

i dreamed of another you

2009-04-30T21:05:00.000+08:00

i will never be happy as long as all of you are still a part of my world
and i do not wish for this to continue
however, as much as i would like to emancipate myself from this affair
i cannot
for reasons that are clear

but as soon as i get the chance
fret not!
i will separate my life from all of yours
sorry for ruining your perfect portrait

and if you stumble upon this post
do not panic
and do not try to make ammends
the me three days ago might fall for your whole blood is thicker than water shit
but the me now is not that naive anymore

do not blame me
blame you and your lack of sensitivity and tact and observation
though some might say i am cruel
i am only doing what is best for me

no more i love yous
no more fake smiles
no more forced well wishes

the little rat reading this might want to sneak off and warn the rest of the pack
but this rat made up its mind
and so
what can you do about it?

since everything i do is frowned upon
i will leave all of you to be at peace
and die with each other
in your lovely abode

do not cry when this finally hits you in the face
like i said
blame your blunt and inadequate observation
maybe you do not even have a heart
or a brain
whatever floats your boat

and i am done wasting time plastering a fake smile
if i do not like it
i do not like it
and that is that

give me a few more years
and you'll never see my visage again

i laugh myself to sleep, it's my lullaby

2009-04-29T00:33:00.000+08:00

i hate you
cat and mouse game
hide and seek
act so cold
go to hell bitch

i'm so alone
sea of crowds
groups of friends
but do they know?
don't think so

if we are all friends
why do i feel abandoned?

nah
it's alright
why do i want to care anyways
i mean are you sure we're going to take the next step
you're not even willing
why should i play my part

again...all separate thoughts

on a brighter note:
MAY 1 [here we go again x)]

MAY 4 (my fav bitch, you know what im talking about)

didn't mean to wake you up

2009-04-26T22:51:00.000+08:00

P.S: all issues are not subsequent and are not in chronology...they might be interlinked but they might be irrelevant too....like point 1 and 2 might be related..but point 3 is not...

i did not mean to do what i did
but im sensitive so screw you if you chose to disregard my feelings
it is too bad to have it that way then
do not blame me

i do not have to wish you if i do not want to, you bitch
you did not show up in the first place
i do not care for your feelings
since you did not care for mine

i do not care if you're a relative of mine
i am entitled to my own opinions
if i think you're a bitch
then
you are a bitch
fuck 'blood is thicker than water'
it stinks more than water too

i think i will indulge for a bit with that windfall
i know i am in some ways obliged to inform you about it
but i want to have my share of fun
it IS my money after all
and i am the one who will be settling it
so screw you
guess you should have thought about it clearly before choosing that path huh?

mooting was great
first time experiencing it: excitement, fear,panic, joy
i need to get that suit and FAST

i want to get away from this shit hole A.S.A.P

beginning to see thise people in a different light
have to get used to them i guess
if you can't beat them, join them

friday will come and they will be at home
i don't like that
i like being left alone
feel like going out the whole day
i will go out!

wanna crash a car
anyways..that ain't my car

should i take a study break and stop tutoring for two months?
need to focus on myself
but am i not self-centered in a lot of ways already?

i swear if i have to deal with so many fuck faces in my life then i will have to rip my eyes out
but then again, we aren't really gven much of a choice to choose who we want to be associated with

feel like losing myself in music and darkness again

want to experience a breakdown
like self inflicted stress
maybe then i can cope better with all the shit going on

please remember i never forgive
forget by indifference...sure
but not forgive

need to develop a poker face
she said i already have one

and i like living in this dark and twisted and gloomy little world of mine
common sense will tell you it is a form of protection
ironically
you claim you have common sense
where was it?

i miss doing literature
really really miss it
really envy andrew when i saw him with that book
sometimes i want to drop law for literature
what say you?

cannot wait to meet up with my favourite bitch
gah!
the bitchy little time we're gonna have
oh! and shopping and stuff
i kept the list of things you have to update me on
hmmm...lrt and cash and bills and alexis...elipses.....

contemplating on getting that Lacoste polo tee
is 110 reasonable?
which colour?
pale yellow or cobalt blue?

why do i like to rush everything i do?
probably because i like adrenaline
in small caffeine shot-like dosage

i must have a must visit list when i get to UK!
people are going places and i should not limit myself too
think Paris, think Spain
thinking about people and places makes me happy

need to stock up on less clothes to bring to UK
crazy giler
like maybe limit myself to 200 bucks monthly?
screw luxury.....can't....need luxury haha

i suck at keeping in contact with people
i wish i was better at it
i might trade all socialising skills for it

stop thinking of clubbing

trouble is a fickle friend
but so am i
does it mean i am nothing but trouble?
lol

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these are all fleeting/random/overwhelming/constant/malicious/funny/contradicting thoughts that pass through my head at a racer's speed

and yes....they all come at one shot
told you i can't think clearly
and that is why i am such a mixed bag of everything
they all haunt me from time to time

just an insight to my psyche
euchern

It ends tonight

2009-04-20T23:05:00.001+08:00

BOOOO
why can't HELP give a decent break to the students?

one bloody week?!

other people got two............... *pouts*

while some people get to idle away

i have to prepare for tomorrow
which i am not particularly excited for
excited for the lectures and certain things but not for the ones i cannot name

*paranoia kicks in*

sabbatical?
such cruelty to use this word as a mockery

lol...my FIRST time at Petroscience

yes..i had a traumatising and sad and pathetic childhood
which made me so dark and twisted =)

oh well
time to practice how to smile again
*big grins*
ouch..think i pulled a muscle there
getting used to it
i'm sure some would frown upon my pretences

but it is the ends that justify the means...no?
what are the ends?
you go figure

why make create more hate
when you can manufacture more love

'manufacture' is to be given its literal and factory-ish meaning
giler literal rule

JACKIE WONG IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ACCORDING TO TRADITION (or at least, my books) THE OLDER MUST BELANJA
i'm quite sure Alana would approve =)
teehee!

cannot wait for this 2 years to come to an end!
Fine...let you in on somthing...my sketch for the next 5 years
just a sketch...but all sketches are the origins of something big, right?

painlessly experience this sinfully delightful paradise for 2 years

then Cardiff (to the fuckers in my life..stop stalking me there alright? much love)

then BVC

then COME BACK to ATC (i hear cheers and applause....no?)

to do my CLP (hopefully with you guys =) *more applause's and tears*)

along the way
if i stumble..i stumble
if i soar..i soar

i'm a really big juxtaposition

i love to live the moment....but i love a rough idea of what i will be doing
hence the PLAN and the devil-may-care attitude on what happens in between

have been procrastinating once more
no surprises if you see me write another post at 4 in the morning

JACKIE WONG JIE YUE!! *i hope i got it right please do not murder me*
when are we finally fulfilling that overdue yumcha session?!

get back to me!
* so unfair for the birthday girl to be painted as though she is at fault for the lack of yumcha session, but she IS a big girl...she can take this*

and the burden and guilt left the ditchmaster
XP

alright
am hungry

P.S : 3 certain sluts are celebrating their birthdays this week!
P.P.S : one of the 3 needs to come out and breathe again
P.P.P.S: that 'one of the 3' must not FFK or something will be shoved up where it does not shine =)

toodles!
euchern

flash a smile
strike a pose
ignore them bitches
them asses
them ho's

Love, save the empty

2009-04-12T18:39:00.000+08:00

it's my favourite tune
by Erin McCarley

in the movie 'He's just not that into you'
watched in on friday
fucking awesome

i did not dig Gigi's character in the beginning
cause she tends to over-analyse everything
but you cannot help but root for her and gravitate towards her character towards the end of the movie

and it turned out, she reminds me of a lot of people
a lot of people that are around you
these are the people who see a smile or a pat on the back,
as simple gestures that makes them talk about it for hours without ends and how and why and who and when and what that makes these gestures more then what they mean

or how a cute' =)' in a text means way more then a smiley
or how 'xoxo' means she really wants to kiss you

how a 'take care' , or a 'i miss you' mean that you guys are made for each other

Gigi, i think is the epitome of someone who is finding for love
she represents all of us
she tells us we are not like that lucky friend of yours (a.k.a the exception)
she reminds us that we are the rules in this game of love

correct me if i am mistaken, but this is how i see it
excluding feminist and loners and people who generally are bitter in nature or even people who have a penchant for mail-ordered other halves,
admit it:
we all went through this stage at least once
some of us still go through it on a daily basis

but Gigi tells us something else too
we are the rule when it comes to this cat and mouse game

but we are someone else's exception

and this is true enough as long as you are not afraid to walk and stumble and trip and fall
all to come back up again

you're my exception

Sweet Surrender

2009-04-10T03:42:00.000+08:00

Finally!

i finished with that fucking criminal ASSignment

it's so shitty.....oh well...at least i only am deemed to plagiarise 10 % (my personal best is 8%)

it's better than hitting the 40 % mark and needing to tweak everything again

its 3.44 in the morning

and my class is at 8 tomorrow

which means i have to wake up at 6.30

cest la vie = merde

thanks ASSignments

you've made me nocturnal...not to say i was not

but i love sleep anyhow you know

had the nerves to watch CONFESSIONS today

it was so brilliant though

made me want to withdraw money to shop

think of it as boosting the economy..it's not that hard

anyways...been doing a lot of thinking on how i should see friends

college friends come and go (especially if you are in one where superficiality rules)

but some are forever (or at least 15 years from now)

so screw the need to be nice in class towards the people you hang out with

#lesson 1:

do not have the urge to feel wanted

this is the first lesson of the day people

it's nice to belong to a group, it's nicer if you don't lie to yourself to fit in

because at the end of the day, you know who you can really depend on

it's not them,

it's you, chocolates, music and REAL friends

cheers to that

Barenaked Lights On

2009-03-29T23:06:00.000+08:00

let's be raunchy with the title =)
nah... they are basically two diffrent issues with one common theme
the theme: titles of a song

Barenaked: Jennifer Love Hewitt
Lights On: The Pierces

let's talk about nudity first ok?
im not taking the definition literally
im talking about how you feel vulnerable at times
almost to the extend you feel barenaked

and when all these complications in life comes at you in one deadly dose
you feel...naked....almost as though you feel jaded
and you can't take it anymore....

well..this is how i feel
not an issue to worry about, people
im sure this is part and parcel of life to feel like that

i mean
shit pours down all the time

just feeling a ittie bittie bit of stress that's all
i wish i could float away to some other day

*lol...lots of the lines are excerpts from the song*

i tell myself it's just a test
and hopefully...i'm taking it well

but on days where i feel really helpless
i wish i can just run and hide

i cannot wait to take a sabbathical
which....is not about to happen any moment soon
the closest thing to a sabbathical is my one week break in APRIL

*pouts*
why do you think i look foward to fridays?

to some people...fridays are like any days

to me i say
THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY

cause it is the one day my class ends at 12....and i get to hang out with people close to me

it's not about the clubbing
or the shopping

it's about the BONDING

someone you can bond with is the best thing you can receive if you feel like crap on that day
and i'm feeling particularly sad for these few weeks because my friends were not free

so..
no bonding /ranting/frisky-ing/obnoxious-ing/sluttin/malling/starbucks-ing

but fret not!!
i'm hoping this friday turns out as planned!!!
fingers crossed for that!!

on another note
i'm trying very very hard to drop my wednesday tutorings....
so i can hang out with my MCD buddies
how long since we did that??

i don't wanna live up to DITCHMASTER you know

I NEED A SUGAR RUSH

on another other note
just completed ONE ASSignment (constitutional and administrative law)
would cite this as one of my main source of stress

the word limit: 3400
my word count: 3800
*brain shuts down to see me suffer*

success rate: almost there
final word count: 3541

screw it
i ain't gonna edit no more

Let's talk about lights now:

unlike the song
i did participate in EARTH hour
=) eco friendly smiley

just thought by putting the names of the song together it willl sound more erotic..
i mean...exotic

DID I MENTION THAT I NEED MY FRISKY FRIDAYS?
to those involved..i'm stressing on this issue!! (pun intended!)

counting down the days
(Natalie Imbruglia-another song title for you!)

feeling loads better
euchern

injuries in the dark

2009-03-19T21:16:00.000+08:00

in the midst of being so caught up with so much shit and all
i realised i did not take time to stop

and now that i have slowed down (i did not stop yet....find me time)
i realised i missed a lot of things

i miss the times when all 7 of us hung out

well, i will not put anyone to blame for this issue
cause everyone (or so they claim) says that they are busy
i don't know
feels like everyone i hold on to leaves me slowly

i miss the people from ATC

i mean seriously, the people in HELP are nice and all but there is something that makes me miss my old college more- warmth
i knowing this is a rant uncalled for, cause i took the road myself and no one pointed a gun to my head and forced me to do it,
sometimes, i wonder whether moving ahead in life is worth dumping memories on the sidewalk

i miss the times my cousin and i hung out at the mamak

ok....so what if my bloody cousin just left last week
i fucking hate goodbye
fuck...i think it is a conspiracy that everyone is leaving me
i mean...we used to mamak and just crap and crap
and i really enjoyed that
i feel so so so guilty for not spending more time with him
that he is ditching us to stay with sheep's
gah....i fucking hate him
cause he is really close to me and we practically grew up together

i miss unguarded feelings

where i can really really be myself and everyone would get it
cause they know me so well
not that i'm a great pretender in college
but you know.....you have to constantly walk on tiptoes so you would not have stepped on anyone's tail

i miss lazy saturdays

i miss waking up at 11 to prepare for college

i miss MCD sessions with Jackie and Alana

i miss simplicity

and most of all

I MISS YOU
i do feel
i screwed up big time

to feel emo simply highlight to read this bleeding post
if not....then this is the crux of the situation

sad
euchern

material world

2009-03-06T22:17:00.001+08:00

i want to get some stuff
and this is from my unending list
most probably it is so because it keeps growing
just like trouble

Lenka: trouble is a friend and trouble is a foe, no matter what i feed him he always seem to grow

and im feeding my spending habits with compulse and impulse
FUCK

i just got a bag (very lawyer looking! did i tell you that i have this little fantasy to stock up before living for UK?)

and so..i want a few more stuff =)
just a few i promise
well...depending on what a few means to you

a plaid shirt (i don't have that yet)
the checkered bag from my haunt
a few dress shirts (M.O.S friendly)
a grey vest
a few t-shirts (3-5?)
suit (for mooting purposes)
skinny black tie
jeans

who wants to go with me?? i'll be open to your critiques =)

incentives? my company of course =)

delusional about the economy

euchern

don't let me fall

2009-03-04T21:00:00.000+08:00

i guess it is resolved............

and hopefully this puts my friend on constant sugar rush out of her misery and pain

driving lessons are a drag
god damn driving institutions for hiring asses to teach
and now i see the link of that with road rage

it is a vicious cycle
then again everything is a cycle
why do you think cavemen made wheels round?

because it is the basic theory to live on

and this vicious cycle applies to a whole lot of other things
it does not only concern driving
it concerns relationships too

and i am not really one who will initiate amendments until i am 100 fucking percent sure that i am the one who screwed up

the best example
i have not been on talking terms with one of my sibling for more than a year
do not take into account the whole 'pass the salt here' conversation

yesh
i am that good in holding on to a grudge
and if i can do it to family
i can do it to anyone

if you're up for a little friction
i'll always be there to burn your rubber

feeling particularly evil at the moment
euchern

Rehab

2009-02-20T23:09:00.000+08:00

the first step to recovery is to admit that we have unresolved issues
and hence, here, i admit, that i have a problem, my sponsor says it should be done publicly and from then on receive acceptance and forgiveness from those around me

i have a problem, though i have been clean for not a very long while, only a mere 15 weeks, i suffered a relapse, the temptation proved to be more than a common struggle that i have to constantly battle... but on the 3rd of February... it happened again, and i bore the consequences...

i sincerely reach out to all around me to accept the fact that i have been irresponsible and that i have fallen off the wagon, again, i have tried to abstain from the forbidden fruit for as long as i could remember... but evidently, i have strayed from the right path...

i have never felt more remorseful in my life.. or at least in the moments were i was deemed as clean... i know that a lot of you would be disappointed with the step that i have chosen during that irrational moment in time...i can apologise with all my heart and soul but it may not be enough to redeem what i have done...

henceforth, i have made the conscious decision that i will be placed under stringent controls and monitoring as to protect me and to ensure that i reap benefits from this action... the place will be a place to help me with the distractions and troubles that i have gotten myself into...i have to admit that upon release... i have taken my new found freedom a little too far off course...

thank you for hearing me out
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pls..................don't panic..the only relapse that i was suffering from (or so it seems) was that i woke up late for class..i know it was a bad habit of mine (and apparently, still is)... and i just feel guilty, that's all...ok...i made it sound like im some addict...just for dramatic purposes you know....everybody loves drama....

i set the wrong time for the alarm and on top of that, slept through the whole bus ride, miss my stop, and it all amounted to me being late by two hours, the time frame for one class, and therefore, missing one full lecture...and of all things...criminal law....fuck man

hoping for no more relapses
euchern

Piece Of Me

2009-02-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

*haha! 2 times more than what miley can come up with*

DIRECTIONS:Once you've been tagged, you have to list down 16 random things, habits or goals about you. Lastly, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names, and why you chose them.

[1] im narcissistic. however, i was not born that way. it is more of an ugly duckling's surgery to be a swan story. i was always insecured of the way i used to look when i was a kid and it really killed off my needs to become sociable at that point of time. then, nature took its course and ta-dah! my philosophy is : the first step to looking good is confidence. no words must bring you down...you are your biggest enemy

[2] i love chocolates.not just because of my high metabolism (sorry!) but i love it so much...it all started with this teacher of mine who cheered me up with a bar of cadbury. then i had the sudden realisation that chocolates are the ultimate key to temporary happiness. i always eat chocolates. i never will get tired of it.

[3] i like listening to songs that makes me cry. weird? not really... i am not really emotionally available in most situations, and i am often depicted as evil, brutal, mean, cold when it comes to certain situations. its not that i don't feel, its just that i like to bottle everything up at times. i mean yeah, i emo once in while, who doesn't? back to the point, therefore songs that never fail to make me cry is where i seek solace, its an outlet for release, i feel better after that.

[4] i love pictures. it tells you a lot of things. like when you see a picture with an old man staring into blank space, or a girl crying... it tells a story. and these stories weave through my head and back in high school, these thoughts formed the basis of my english essay (which at least one character dies in every piece)... now, its still a source of inspiration, i might write again, and get rewarded again, by writing in, if only i have the time

[5] i judge a book by its cover. literally. i hold the believes that a good book must first be inviting and hence the need for a great cover, its similiar to my fascination with pictures. so a note to all the publishers out there, do not get a bore to design the cover page or you will suffer in this superficial world.

[6] i hate the lovey dovey sort to be my other half. yuck. bake me cookies? i love you. a message before i sleep? really sweet. couple t-shirts? i'll bear with it. colur co-ordinate the outfits? we need a break and lose my number

[7] I do not have a problem speaking my mind. do not mess with me. you will be disintegrated to the lowest form of micobe possible. i do not like holding back an opinion when i feel that my stands are better. i have no problems with profanities. seriously. ask the people who rides the lrt with me.

[8] i want to do family law(among other things)all for personal reasons. i mean, if two beings do not like or cannot stand each other, they should break up, or at least try to work things out. they obviously cannot see the pain that their children are going through

[9] i bit my teacher when i was a kid. all because she was carrying me and not allowing me to go home when my transporter was already there. before biting her, i tried pinching, scratching, and tugging at the chain around her neck. it snapped. i was in kindagarden.

[10] i laugh a lot. at a lot of things ranging from lame to hysterical. seriously, you can tell me something not even remotely funny but since you intended it at a joke, i would laugh. its not that i'm playing along or something, it's just that, i remembered that this girl, whom i used to have a crush on back in primary school, well, she told me a joke, and i told her it was not funny. she said no one likes to hear that and that i should laugh more often ( i was a lonely kid refer to point 1).. taking her words close to my heart, i sort of developed this mechanism to laugh. not just because its funny (or not), i just figured if laughing helps, why not. so i like laughing.

[11] when i go through a break up, i would stay in my room and not come out at all. i would first get to the nearest store, get loads of chocolates, instant noodles, food, magazines and stuff. then i will play michelle branch's album, hotel paper over and over and over again. my parents would practically try breaking down the door to get me, but unless under the most hostile of situations, i will not care. (read: hostile being threatening to break down my door)

[12] when someone hurts me real deep, i swear, i will never forgive. its the one part of me i do not think will change.. never will i forgive, not in this life time. i swear i will never be able to do so, i hold on to a grudge well. i can forget by indifference, yes, but never forgive.

[13] leading on from the previous point, i have a very twisted view on how i see friendship. i will not disclose it here, you might hate me. this all happened because of this incident that happened in high school. i really hate that fall out, but i cannot reverse the outcome anymore. i cannot wish for it to be the same again. but that incident scarred me. and hence, the very dark way to view friendship.

[14] i listen to alot of indie music (not bollywood for the uninitiated, but independant), it is sort of parallel to this situation most people faced in the whole period of trying to fit in: you do things that are acceptable and popularised by the popular kids in high school, all for the sake of fitting in, then when you are already in, you gain credibility in the social scene, when you are somebody, you need not do these kind of things anymore, because, after all the things you have done, you can finally float, and gravitate towards what you like, and there is not a need to keep up anymore. all in all, mainstream is so cliche. i like stuff with a bit of heart and soul.

[15] i hate being lonely. i have an everyday struggle with that. i hate being lonely, i hate being vulnerable. i hate that feeling in no matter what situation it is that im facing. i remember back in one of the literature sessions with miss leela in form 5 ( i miss those!!) she gave us an insight on the feeling of vulneralbility, saying that you have that immense feeling of being powerless..and at times you don't even have the strength to get out of bed and all....i have moments where i feel almost the same... and i hate it. but a really good friend of mine once said, or specifically wrote, to say that i need not fear lonliness, as everyone needs a dose of that from time to time to mould us into better individuals. im trying to cope with it.

[16]i hate it when people claim that they know me. fuck you man. you do not. unless you happen to be one of those friends who caught a glimpse of the other side of me (which, on the last count was not more than 5). lyrics from a song (fastlane-lindsay lohan) 'no one really knows, how i feel inside, and i'm keeping it that way, it's my story to replay)

yup... probably stuff you might have been too daft to notice...lol..no...im joking...but yeah...stuff and quirks about me... albeit it being too dark for some of your likings maybe...but deal with it... this is me... twisted.

i tag!!!!
jackie
sylvea
carine
sujata
ying ying

peace
don't be afraid of me
i won't bite
euchern

Louisa

2009-02-13T21:50:00.001+08:00

and no..its not some random chick i picked up on the way home
its a song..more like a song for a farewell, a farewell for a really really good friend

LEE JOVAN

i dunno how to put it....so here it goes

what the fuck la
leave earlier than me
i can't believe you can actually do something like that to me
fuck you man

ok.....done with the really angsty and angry part that he is moving to australia

now for the less murderous sounding part

i was gonna send an sms to him...but the blonde decided to cancel his number
so...imma post it here:
LEE JOVAN
READ THIS!!!

hey blonde, i know you're about to leave for aussie...you bitch...ditch me here...what the fuck do you expect me do here without the fun times that we share? What am i gonna do with no one here to top my blondest moments? or to impersonate abbey? or to fulfill the ultimate stress relieve (read: shopping) and who am i suppose to turn to when i want to do the most evil and meanest things? where the fuck am i gonna get that sort of replacement? damn bitch la you....lol....feeling guilty now? you well better... lol....anyways...i just wanna say...all the best in aussie man...Good Luck and Good Fuck ok? really really gonna miss the times we had...saying this from the bottom of my heart....seriously..ohmegosh...next year seems so faraway... that is certaintly not some form of comfort wei...do update me with your life down under...blog or something...please do not let aussie change you and do not change to fit aussie...or there won't be any abbey moments when you come back next year...remember...i am your friend...there is no 'i don't friend you' business....take care blonde!!!

yup...i wrote that long...all to see the 'message cannot send' notice

about the title for this post
Louisa is a really really sad song
sung by the pierces
my ultimate obsession

ok...the lyrics are a girl writing off to her best friend
the lyrics are bittersweet and maybe a little bit tragic
its so sad sounding....riven is my heart
it does not completely apply to this situation
but close
i dig it...so should you:

I heard about it last week
That you were thinking about leaving me
Oh, you can be so sweet
But you can be such a stubborn girl when you wanna be

Louisa, won't you think it over
Won't you think it down
Louisa, if you won't think it over
will you look me up when you come around

Don't you know you're my best friend
And I've been having such a hard time making new ones
I guess everything comes to an end
I hide you for a moment and now you're gone

Louisa, won't you think it over
Won't you think it down
Louisa, if you won't think it over
will you look me up when you come around

You see, I'm afraid that you'll go far away
And raise a family that I will never see
Don't you know that I need to see your face(to see your face, to see your face)

I heard about it last week
That you were thinking about leaving me
Oh, I want you to be happy
But I can be such a stubborn girl when I wanna be

Louisa, won't you think it over
Won't you think it down
Louisa, if you won't think it over
will you look me up when you come around

all the best man

counting down the days
euchern

comfortable in a new skin

2009-02-03T22:35:00.000+08:00

good evening peeps
its a week since i've decided to have the subconscious decision to blog again
frankly, all the booze and gambling and drama durng the recent new year makes everything a drag...

but that is not the main issue

yes... my eager fans.. i have promised to talk about my new college life
and here you go
*just lick it up, baby, lick it all up*
classes are greAT
lecturers are proficient
well, at least most of them
and oh! not even a month into the course
my wonderful lecturer (which i will not reveal because i will need to lick her very broad....whatever in hopes to get an A and more importantly, recomendations if needed ) has a thing against me already =)))))

SHE IS A DAMN BITCH I TELL YOU WTF IS WRONG WITH HER ALWAYS FIND FAULTS WITH ME
GOD WISHES A LORRY CRASHES INTO THAT FAT ASS OF HERS AND EXPLODES WHEN SHE FARTS

coursework is a bitch.. but not all that of a drag

my friends are pretty cool
i do not know why
as if it is all fated
why do the people i hang out with mean?!
all we do is be MEAN

especially to a girl who thinks, for example, juliana (pity the poor girl, not only must she be mocked at for her stupidity in class, lets not make her endure it in front of the rest of the world throgh the powerful means of the internet=) ) is one syallable

she needs a brain surgeon and quick......if i had it my way i will put her first on the priority list
sigh..maybe its irremediable (LMAO a word she ask my lecturer whether 'like...made it up yourself or something?')
maybe the nicotine and tar from her cigarettes already clogged up all the neurons in her brain

but as far as the philosophy of being a world class bimbo is concerned, she however is not a bitch

the motherfuckers of all bitches is this girl who started singing this bollywood crap song in the middle of a lecture, and asked the lecturer 'what the hell are you talking about?' or the classic "whatever la, just continue teaching your shit"

DEAR BITCH
*go fuck yourself and die in the midst of an orgasm*

she seriously needs time on the naughty stool
and being rude to everyone is obviously her signature dish
seriously, what is she doing in law class?
maybe she is so fucktarded she decided to do law to show the world a bitch like her should be taken seriously

PLEASE....THE ONLY PLACE SHE SHOULD BE TAKEN IS A BOTTOMLESS PIT FILLED WITH SNAKES then she can practice her bollywood moves when avoiding those forked tongue slimes, then again maybe letting her die while entertaining something is a little bit lenient

better suggestions, tell me too =)
PLSDIEPLSDIEPLSDIEPLSDIEPLSDIEPLSDIEPLSDIEPLSDIE *FINGERS CROSSED*

and why do all joannas turn out to be bitches?
hmmm.... it is a mystery still not yet solved
do ring me up if you have the solution

(hope no one takes it PERSONALLY...that would be too egoistic, lame, fucktarded and above all, bitchy =) )

wallet dries up faster than usual
the food there is fucking cheap, so cheap i beg the stall to take more cash as i pity them and not myself

orientation night is coming up
the theme (a very lame one at it) : BACK TO SCHOOL
lol

the bitch not the blonde, asked if we needed to wear our old school uniforms
such an understatement, why, how could i be so ignorant that we NEEDED to wear our shrinking uniforms??!

ANYWAYS...
the theme is pretty much self explainatory
AND the DJ will be spinning tracks from the 90'S

Read:
westlife, N'sync, backstreet boys, BRITNEY SPEARS (if they play oops i did it again i will slap them in the face)

THE SHEER HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

with the BITCH and the BLONDE as permanent entertaintment
class sure as hell is interesting

lol
they crack me up
my friend said he bets his ass that they will drop out

*cheers to that*

cheers to new found life and new found entertaintment
euchern

The Road Taken

2009-01-23T22:59:00.000+08:00

What's up bitches?

lol...my college mates find it disturbing that i refer to my friends as whores, sluts, bitches, fuckers... the works.

anyways....that's not the main point.
the point is
where to and what now?

Where to?
it has already been answered.
my results brought me into this whole new experience that i would say to have a love hate relationship with

What now?
i have already chosen the path to do law
its like a do or die
and i don't have a back up plan
(heck no! is teaching a back up plan)

and with regards to the bi polar relationship i have towards law
it was a conscious decision to do so
and i should not really be whinning about the 4 very fucking heavy textbooks
or the case with 47 fucking pages....and it was only the House Of Lords comments.... not taking into account the lower courts yet....
or the sacrifice of my SLEEP
(sleeping at 2 and waking up at 6 is no life to lead)

then again.....
its just something i need to put in words...therepeutic...albeit incoherent and senseless to others but me (and a few intellectually stimulated people XP)

the crux of the thing is that....
the road i took...is a hard road.....
and i'm not really complaining..nor am i regretting
its just that it means i have to revel in it
through good and bad
but....in the process of adapting this life ( people who know me should very well know i have great adaptability to changes, and i'm saggitarius) will have to make a compromise to give up anything in order to succeed in something?

i don't want to be a person who gives up fun for work
or work for fun
or give up anything at all in order to replace it with something else
( i beg to differ when it comes to relationships and stuff, unless it is an exceptional case)

strangely
learning law ios suppose to be about trying to get your point across

i do not think i have justified that statement
i sound more like a pre sober ass or something

and to top it off :
i don't hate my job
i just don't love it
there is no more motivation for me to do something like this anymore
and money is such a superficial incentive which obviously is not enough

but i need the money
such hypocrisy.

will update on college soon
it's really fun
i assure you
it's just that all good things come with a little baggage too?

feeling bluer than usual
euchern

worth

2009-01-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

well, truth be told, i have been working my ass off for a very long time
juggling a very heavy schedule
i am on the verge of collapsing
this is not a joke
i am really really thinking and evaluating the worth of everything i have been doing
is it all worth it?

i am not talking about my course of course... (lol)
this is the path i chose.... and i am not backing down from it

all the money i am working for
for what?
all for a god damn hoodie or a fucking bag?
or for more clothes?
what the fuck right?
i mean it all started off quite well
but seriously i am starting to see the flaws

i have been working so hard finishing notes after notes after notes
and it seems so endless
i have sacrificed my time
to be with my friends
to be doing my homework
and dammit to be alone for a R & R
they make such a fuss out of everything
blowing every insignificant minute details into infinite proportions

and it was said to be for my own good

fuck off man

you may have played the guilty card on my friend
but you have no idea who you are dealing with
i do not succumb to your strategies so easily.

i will take less time there
and more time to myself

i don't want to be angry all the time
it hurts everyone around me
it hurts me more

i deserve a break
and i do not want to take up so much workload from you

as if i have not enough on my hands already

if i have to be selfish
i will be selfish
i have to think for myself first

you are just a short term goal

i have bigger dreams to fulfill

ergo,
conclusion is : no. you are not so worthy of my time and energy
i will continue on the condition that i get a lighter schedule

you know you cannot replace me
euchern

i was HELPed

2009-01-11T14:11:00.000+08:00

Hello people and stalkers and things as such
one week was all i was on a sabbathical from blogging..
technically..i was too busy to blog
but i'm back now....so fret not

a week in review
how would i put it?
how about how Cady Heron described it
*a stressful surreal blur*

nah
i was fine with it...
puhleez
can you imagine me not fitting in?!
gimme a break

anyways....
class was alright
i have my first 400 words essay on the first class of the lecture itself (wtf right?)
two preps for two differerent tutorials
and one read up for a lecture outline

oh yeah
on top of that
working part time
juggling house chores
doing notes

life is truly a bitch
it is one hell of a bitch

but now that i say this
it would be like
'well, you brought this on to yourself'
correct

but whateva
this is my life (albeit a lil tragic at the moment)
it will get better
fingers crossed

WHAT THE FUCK
OPTIMISM CEASE TO HELP
BLOODY SHIT
IF I GO ON LIKE THAT FOR ANY LONGER
I WILL DIE MAN

*breathes out*

anyways
on the plus side
when out a little too often and all this week
i was at MV twice this week
yuck right?
went to Alexis for lunch
aside from the main course
(friggin good)
i did not like potatoe soup
and definitely not the italian whatever the name is cake

then i went to ONE U on friday
my fabulous was so fucking late
but all is forgiven because shopping aside we fulfilled a part of our mission in preparing something special for the gang
=)
i dunno if everybody knows about it yet
but....its really something

monday
some people got classes (ha!)
but i'll be heading to KLCC to plan for the gift for the gang
with Ying
then i'll have to teach
(didn't i just say life can be a bitch?)

nvm
and will be looking out for the Charlie Chaplin thing too

and i really really really
need to find my way around college
the food i have been wolfing on are generally pricy-er
fuck it man

well
life
life
life
bitch

in hell for the moment ( there is no place like home)
euchern

Happy New Year B*tches

2009-01-01T21:50:00.001+08:00

2008 was a great year
and i have a big thank you list
though...i will only mention a few names =)

TO
the sluttiest people i know
Chee Kin, Lucinda, Ying Hui, Amanda, Jing Hua, Joanna
thanks for being there for me
the endless hours of fun was enticing, arousing, erotic and any sick words that you can use to represent the fun we shared ....
I love you guys...and though i know we don't hang out as much as we want to....one outing was enough to compensate all the times and moments we left a gap in...
i feel like i do not have to hide anything when i am with you guys
i feel so liberated
all of the camwhoring
you made narcissism go up one notch
thanks
the red box sessions
the Starbucks sessions

so here's a tag line

Going to a rendezvous with the other sluts: $15
Lunch at some fancy dig : $30
Unwinding at Starbucks : $20
Camwhore sessions : FREE
Looking at the horrified faces at every turn : PRICELESS

thank you again and again......you guys are the best damn thing!

Carine
15 years and counting!!
i have know you like forever my favourite bitch!!!
hmmmm.... we weren't exactly close until 2008
but as my best friend once said...
a great friend is a friend where communication is not the key
where there is no need to talk everyday...

but...chemistry is all that matters
like when we met in college
there were no moments of awkwardness...
no 'hey.............ummm...hi' moments
it was instant since the first time i saw you again in ATC

before we even knew it.....it seemed as though we were from the same clique all along

i love you bitch lol
you never fail to tell me what's on your mind
and you never fail to be true to who you are
and that makes you a better friend then i can wish for
you were always there to help me and was always there to care

so thank you so much for stepping right into my life again

Jovan and Ivan
lol...remember all the emo sessions??
S.A.N.D
thinking about it...emo-ing does the body bad.....lol
but no harm done when you have friends to emo with you right?
lol
but your presence made everything seem fun
lol...like some favourite teacher of ours?
the one that looks like a panda?
that class sucks
but you guys make it rock
thank you for being there and putting up with me
and for always reminding me about my 'best friend' (fuck that fucktard)
or about adding 'ex' to 'girlfriend' when i just broke up
and for that drink
the drink to forget love or something...lol
so fucking sour....can forget about anything also la
that woman crazy one....

and lotsa lotsa people on the list....
malas la....

if i didn't write about you,
it does not mean i do not appreciate you
on the contrary...words alone canno express how much i love (almost) every single one of you guys that had made a dent in my life
for better or worse
thank you.....

i'm lying...
for better...thanks a million

for worse...
fuck off...i don't need haters in my life

so here's a cake to 2009...
don't have pics of a nice cake
so use mine la
its the nicest

peace and love
euchern

on a darker note.....

2008-12-29T20:31:00.000+08:00

The year 2008 will become nothing more than a has-been fad in a few days,and 2009 will become the official 'IT' thing....right I'm sure of that...what with the global-economical-crisis-recession-please-boss-i-will-lick-your shoes-don't-fire-me-la year (what a great year we will be having)

but then again....before we wake up to the new year and start crying over it,
let's look back at 2008

it had been an awesome year....
of course it started off rough enough (you don't wanna see me post-NS)
and leaving high school
attending a college with stalkers and weirdos...

and only meeting up with some of the sluttiest people once every month (boo)

it was great x)
I got into college.
I got a job.
Sad relationships.
but nevertheless..... nice enough
had hell lots more of leeway...
extended curfews (a bonus!!)
buying things with my own money

soirees and sleepovers
movies and hangovers.

it was all good =)

anyways..the darkness on the post lies on this half (just wanted to shout out to 2008 before asking it to fuck off)

i have to make a decision >.<.....Alana and Jackie will be calling my moniker out loud (read: ditch master)...
i think I'm transferring to another college
nothing really dark about it.....
lol potong right?
its just that you know the whole thing about omg-i-do-not-wanna-leave-you-guys-behind-T.T- its sad sad sad.
but then again... call me whatever..... i suck at keeping in contact with people...
lol...like that day...i met a friend in MPH...
he claimed that we were best friends
lol me...being the A list actor ...played along and when he went away...
i asked my friend....'do you know him?'
it's not as though i suffer from amnesia or something...
its just.... to be it short: i suck at keeping in contact with friends >.<

don't get me wrong
i value MOST of my friends

maybe it's because i have too many friends (oops....)

so yeah..........happy new year bitches.....

picture from the LOTR MPO thing

the murder of my food

lol....

last train home

uhh...unsuccessful camwhoring?

The Pierces

2008-12-26T15:28:00.000+08:00

This is my favourite band at the moment
It's definitely not everybody's cup of tea
but then again....not everyone has good taste right?

The three Ho's of Christmas

2008-12-25T13:50:00.000+08:00

Ho Ho Ho's (yes, to all of you Ho's out there)
Merry Xmas
While it might be snowing somewhere
and you might be blowing someone

let's not forget its a time for getting together
not just for hook ups
but maybe a time to take out that bottle of champagne you might have been saving
and all your best decoration's from the past decade.

and get cozy together, who knows, after a glass or two (in some cases, a bottle or two)
you might be ready to let lose....just about anything

and no, its too early for me to be drunk
my hangover session ended eight hours before i went to church at ten today (how holy)
hmmm, did a make this whole family orientated holiday sound perverse?
well, i am me i guess,
so whatever.

then again, the simple message behind this post is to enjoy a great time, hopping from party to party, as i have been doing
and receiving all the presents you can get your hands on
whoever came out with giving is better than receiving obviously does not have enough friends to give him gifts

and my favourite gift so far?
my new midnight blue laptop
which unfortunately, i am not using right now

never mind, for those who are swearing as i type this,
fret not okay?
Santa might not stop by...

Have a blast, readers out there
don't forget to share...
=)

peace and love
and to a whole lot better I-wish-recession-is-over New year

euchern

Misuse of the 'L' word?

2008-12-23T03:47:00.000+08:00

Good Morning PJ-ians and KL-ers
as you can see....nothing can keep an attentive blogger down
not even if it is 3.50 am

truth be told I'm up to meet a deadline....its all just a small matter blown out of proportions
no need explanations there....blah work stuffs...should be kept in the blah office..
this is where you catch a glimpse of something...beyond your sad sad lives

ok.....rushing for the deadline is a sad case...but it is besides the point
the title clearly states the misuse of the 'L' word

not lesbian
not lol
not laid

but love

sweet sweet four letter word
the other favourite four letter word of mine
but that is not today's story.
todays word is 'L' not 'F'
doesn't stray far...but focus on 'L' people

a sad sad friend of mine is stalked...
but she is stalked by this guy who talked about his undying love for her on....what else?
MSN of course...we do live in the age of technology after all

but the catch?
he barely knows her.....she barely knows him
and the only 'intimate' moment they share was him asking her help in something
in a crowd and not alone no less
as if looking at the way she plays a musical instrument is so captivating to use the 'L" word

GIVE ME A BREAK

then again........he might just be a little retarded.....bordering on the line of spastic ism
love at first sight? some might come to his defense

more like i decide to pick a girl at first sight
but...he obviously needs a reality check

and what is so hard staying 'just as friends'?
as my depressed friend suggested
hello?!
wake up MR Love Product Gone Wrong
you barely know each other

sigh
sad...aren't you not?

The sacred "L' word has been violated by your thick chapped lips
time to learn English again....you need to know what 'L' is

P.S my sexy slut.....i hope this post do you some justice and all those who think "L' is beyond a one night stand or beyond "i loved how you played that key'

Good morning to you
Good night to me

euchern

miss me?

2008-12-23T00:18:00.000+08:00

Hey my avid readers, and not to mention, keen stalkers...I'm back
yes...wipe that smile off your faces now....oh...and that tear too

it was a week of mishaps and misfortunes...the computer crashing and breaking down part..possibly because it could not keep up with my ever fulfilling and high strung life

but the drama is over.....and the blogging begins
well...what have i been doing?
the phrase would be : occupying myself

with endless endless endless going outs and going brokes
that is only natural..... yes?
and even more natural if you were me
but fret not.....I'm still loaded
its a figure of speech

then again....
what am i doing now?
oh...nothing
but let me just say this

with a job....comes responsibilities
and I'm responsible for handing in a stack of inspired driven and passion written essays
yes....that is my calling.....for now

its pathetic...as someone...an associate of mine puts it...to work for money
well earning 500 bucks for just a few hours (not more than 10) a week ...READ : A WEEK...NOT A DAY
its not that pathetic once you think about it
especially when the money can get you places

a short post...till something more...orgasmic

yours truly
euchern

My Song...Our Song...Or at least...My gift to you

2008-12-14T02:12:00.000+08:00

Ruin...The Pierces
Check them out
Freaking cool

This, is the end of us
You will never hear my voice again
You, are ridiculous
With your imaginary friends

All that I want
Is for you to come to ruin
All that I want
Is for you to come to ruin
Ohh, All that I want
Is for you to come crawling back

This, is the end of us
And everything you said we'd be
And, all the love I bring
I will be taking home with me

I do not want
For you to be happy
I do not want
For you to be happy
All that I want
Is for you to come crawling back
(I want you to come to ruin) x4

This is the first day
Of many years of sorrow
You won't forget my name
But I'll forget your face tomorrow

All that I want
Is for you to come to ruin
All that I want
Is for you to come to ruin
Ohh, All that I want
Is for you to come crawling back
…to me
Is for you to come crawling back
…to me
Is for you to come crawling back
…to me
Is for you to come crawling back

Is for you to come crawling back
…to me

X (

2008-12-12T21:08:00.000+08:00

gah...
i don't have the mood to post up pictures and talk about the dinner party
probably will do so next week....if i feel any better

P.S: hey....pls email me the pictures that you took that night.....thanks a million

A lil thorn in the flesh

2008-12-09T21:13:00.000+08:00

TODAY
yeah...today....
i suffered my FIRST career frustration
AArgh
(note to all: if i Ada mengada to you guys...bukan career frustration ah...was in mengada mode only...XP)

ANYWAYS....
i was teaching this bunch of form one-ers...technically next year they form one la
and i was going to teach TENSES...
*what the hell so boring i know rite*
and since this boy was making so much noise
i said : you present in front of class first la or not....sing 'my heart will go on-Celine Dion' *i know...too much ma....later glass shatter and all ma....wadev*

and so he did la (the presenting i mean...phew)....i was screening through his work and there were a lot of mistakes...i told him never mind...just try la

and asked two other girls to do it first
and they were beyond my expectations...they were GOOD
and the boy lost it
went on saying...cannot la
they so good already....sure cannot win one

i said its an opportunity to learn

and throughout the whole process of persuasion

he KEEPS ON giving up on me

that bitch

finally i told him he can present last
and then i saw him making references to a list of proverbs...that i did not provide
and i said...let me see

he MERAJUK faster then Lim Yoke Keng can spot barang larangan man....
started keeping all his stuffs...won't even let me see the work I assigned

and then he say he wants to use the toilet
whatev
and being a lil guilty i asked la
'eh...you think he will cry ah?'

and then the answer was no
*dammit*

the reason he should cry is so that i might have a chance to talk to his parents and explain that if their son would not have a change in his attitude....he's gonna suck and rot in life

(mean right? very happy with myself)

then, i tried to be the peacemaker lor
talked to him nicely and stuffs
and when that was happening
he answered me so fucking rudely

since my time was up
before i left i told him i came here not to succumb to the wrath of your mood swings
i came here so that you can learn something before you move on to form one

i mean come on
how many school teachers even bother going around the class asking
each and everyone if they have a problem

grow up

sigh....some people...
when people don't give up on them
they give up on themselves

i hate that
i don't give a damn if he comes next week
one left already (apparently the questions i was shooting at him were way over his standard....or else?! tell me how to improve la)

if he wants to quit then quit
*then you will be a quitter- Kimora*

on a lighter note...
i told them the four rules in class

no eating
no sleeping
no cellphones
no swearing

lol.....Gave them examples of swearing...it was entertaining
i said : you CANNOT say "fork, batch, ship, mustard, pass whole and everything else that falls into this category'

ROFL....damn syok sendiri

lol....then i realised i was late for my next class
and i said SHIT =.=

then...you know kids la
'hor....teacher you say the 'S' WORD!!'

lol....i told them technically 1/4 of my body is in class (i was looking out)

hehe
i know
POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK

Yay??

2008-12-08T17:56:00.000+08:00

hey peeps...i've finally decided to listen to practically EVERYONE and ditched my old blog
*i hear hoorays for me*

so.....i guess i'll be updating soon.....yeah

peace and love
euchern